A Cold Heart In Skyrim
by Peramene
Summary: Epiales has lost everything. She runs from the memories of her fathers murder and the year she spent as a slave to the very men that murdered him. When she reaches her breaking point, she finds something else she has to run from. Her new found bloodlust. Fleeing to her homeland in hope of escape or a quick death, she finds herself wrapped in a nightmare of war and fantasy.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

Cold. Cold wind, cold wood, a cold heart beating in my chest. I kept my eyes closed as the cart crawled ever on towards the unknown destination. Every bump in the road chapped the skin under my bindings more, I barely felt it. _Let this end come quickly, _I thought to myself in silent acceptance. The creaking wheels and stamping of the horses became a lullaby that lulled me deeper into my own mind.

"…Now Epiales, hold the blade with two hands…good! Like that! Now swing! You're a natural!" my father watched as I swung the blade and struck the barrel he had placed in front of me. I squealed and giggled with my new found talent and struck the barrel over and over. He ran for me and picked me up, swinging around and around until we both fell to the ground roaring with laughter.

"You're going to be a great warrior someday, Epiales. I don't have a doubt in this world about that! You've got a fire in you something fierce, you'll make me proud." His grey eyes glowed and his wrinkled face had that familiar smile spread across it. We got up and he hoisted me up on his shoulders as we walked back to the house.

Even as I tried to limit myself to thinking back on good memories alone, I couldn't shut them away… it was a cold night, typical for a night in the cold city of Bruma, but this night was different. There was an ominous chill in the air. I looked out my window and saw only the cold grey stone of the city walls and the black of night. Settling into my bed, I grabbed my book off the table and read by the firelight. I had dozed off for only a few moments when the sounds of pounding at the door woke me with a start. I quickly walked out of my room to see my father looking anxiously outside the windows.

"No, Epiales! Get away from the windows!" The grey eyes that usually shined were devoid of light when they looked at me with panic.

"Papa? What's going on? Who's outside? Papa I'm scared!" he ran to me and pulled me into a crushing hug and gave me many kisses on the head before packing me to the back of the house as the slamming on the door continued. He took me in the back storeroom and moved a crate from the back corner, revealing a trap door underneath. He pulled the door open and helped me down the ladder. The room was only big enough for me. I looked up at him as my heart sank to my feet with the weight of realization. He looked down on me with watery eyes before patting my head one last time.

"Now you can come down here, Papa." I pleaded to him.

"No, little cub. This was made only for you. I'm so sorry.-"he leaned down and kissed my head "- you must remain very quiet. Remember what I showed you if it comes down to that. I'm so proud of you Epiales, so proud. Papa loves you. Now, be as quiet as you can." His tears fell to me as he closed the door and locked it.

"PAPA! PAPA, NO! PLEASE PAPA!" I clawed in the pitch black at the trap door over my head, wailing. An enormous crash was what stopped me. I climbed back down to the dirt and put my hand over my mouth to quiet the sobs. There was muffled talking for a short time, I couldn't really hear what was being said. The sound of metal clanging together and the loud grunts came from the main hall. All I could do was cry, every crash bringing its own sobs. After an eternity, the metal wasn't crashing anymore. There was a victor. My father hadn't come and gotten me, I knew who the victor was. I held my hand over my nose and mouth as the intruders began to rummage through things. An icy chill went down my back as I heard the heavy sound of footsteps entering the room. They walked around casually, opening some things and breaking others. _Please, Divines, don't let him come here. Please. _I thought to myself as the footsteps came horridly closer. I closed my eyes and retreated as far into the room as possible. The rustling over my head made my heart pound in my ears. _Please. No… _there was no use. As I heard the final crate slide away, I knew it was over.

"What 'ave we got 'ere?" His voice was inches away.

_3…2…1… _The door of the hatch slid open.

"NO!" I screamed as I was pulled from the hole.

The jolt of the memory caused me to jump, bringing me back to the present where I sat in the carriage, bound at the hands. I could feel the cold tears running down my cheeks and the chapped skin under the bindings.

"Hey, you awake?" I jumped again at the sound of a voice, deep and heavily accented. An aged Nordic man sat across from me, also bound. His blonde hair was messy and unclean, very loose braids hung randomly through it where there wasn't dirt or, what appeared to be, dried blood. His deep blue eyes were bright and warm, despite the situation. Scars and open wounds riddled his tanned skin. I kept my eyes low and focused on the wood of the carriage.

_Silent as you can. Silence is safe. _

"You tried to cross the border, right? Walked right into that imperial ambush, same as us and that thief over there." He nodded to the man tied beside him. A thin faced Nord with short dark hair and dirt covering most of his face threw a hate filled look through narrow eyes at the blonde Nord beside him.

"Curse you, Stormcloaks! Skyrim was fine until you came along, Empire was nice and lazy, and if you hadn't shown up I could have stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell!" he grumbled as he turned to me, "You there, you and me, we shouldn't be here. It's these Stormcloaks the Empire wants!" I kept my eyes low and didn't acknowledge him, I wasn't taking sides.

"We're all brother and sisters in binds now, thief." The blonde man stated coldly. I let my eyes wander ever so slightly to see his face, a strong smile met my eyes.

_How can he be so calm? Of course, he is a soldier. He's probably made his peace with death long ago. _

"Shut up back there!" the carriage driver yelled back angrily, hitting the wood with his hand. I flinched and pulled on my bindings a little, stinging my skin and not loosening an inch. I let out a sigh and put my head in my hands.

_Hopeless…_ I thought as I fought a ripple in the back of my throat.

"What's with him?" he nodded to the man tied beside me. I stole a glance, he was different than the soldier across from me. While the soldier sported a blue leather cuirasses, his armor was grey and he wore a bear skin coat over it. I couldn't help looking for just a bit longer than I should have, his mouth was covered with cloth preventing him from talking. I couldn't shake the peculiar feeling I got when I looked at him. _Why gag him and not the rest of us? _I asked myself before looking at him just once more. As I looked up his stormy grey eyes met mine, I gasped a little and immediately brought my gaze to the wood again.

"Watch your Tongue! You're speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak, the true High King of Skyrim!" He shouted at the thief, making him flinch. The thief's eyes grew wide and slowly fell to the gagged man beside me. His hands began to shake after a moment and then he stammered,

"Ulfric? The Jarl of Windhelm? You're the leader of the rebellion! But if they've captured you… Gods! Where are they taking us?" his hands shook and his eyes were wide with fright as he stared down the Jarl. It had been ages since I had returned to Skyrim and I was just as confused as ever.

_Free from one prison only to find death the moment you get out. _I put my head in my hands again and just listened.

"I don't know where we're going, but Sovngarde awaits." The soldier whispered solemnly across from me, the Jarl grunted in answer. A smile spread on the soldiers face again as he nodded and examined his bindings. I let my thoughts drift to my father for a moment again, wondering if Sovngarde had been his destination and if he was watching over me as I was on the road to joining him…

"What village are you from, horse thief?" The soldier nearly whispered.

"Why do you care?" the thief spat back.

"A Nords last thoughts… should be of home…" he said very somber as he looked to the sky, perhaps to go to his home for a last time, even in his mind. I longed to return to mine.

"Rorikstead… I'm from Rorikstead." He said in a squeaky voice, I looked up at him to see little silver tears rolling down his cheeks. One couldn't help but feel sorry for the man. After another few short moments I could see a shadow rolling over the wagon. I looked around to see us entering the walls of a city, stone towered over everything, just like Bruma.

"General Tullius, sir! The headsman is waiting!" one of the soldiers called as we passed through the gates. I could feel my heart jumping to my throat and an icy chill begin to run down my back.

"Good, let's get this over with." The general called to the other men sitting on horseback.

"Shor, Mara, Dibella, Kynareth, Akatosh! Divines, please help me!" the thief called to the heavens as tears rolled steadily down both cheeks. _Don't let them see your weakness. _I thought as I watched him continue his prayer. I felt like I should take his hand, tell him things would be ok, lie and bring him some comfort. I did nothing. We passed by some buildings and I caught a glimpse of some officials on horseback with a peculiarly dressed High Elf in the middle of them.

"General Tullius, the military governor. Looks like the Thalmor are with him, damn elves. I bet they had something to do with all this." He growled as he sent malicious looks to the men. Some people cursed the Stormcloaks and others prayed for them. It was strange to be in one place so deeply divided, I could imagine what the rest of the land was like.

"This is Helgan." He whispered to me as I looked around at all the Imperial soldiers, "I use to be sweet on a girl here. Wonder if Vilad is still making that mead with juniper berries mixed in…?" he trailed off with a small smile playing at his lips, "Funny, when I was a boy, Imperial walls and towers use to make me feel so safe…" As he whispered the final word, the carriage came to a halt. My heart was in my throat again, the chill most certainly going down my back as I raised and caught a glimpse of the man in the black hood with an ax placed against his shoulders and a large block of bloodied wood beneath him.

"W-why are we stopping?" the thief cried as he looked around and squealed when he saw the grizzly sight before him.

"Why do you think? End of the line… Let's go. Shouldn't keep the gods waiting for us." The soldier replied coldly. We were all told to come down from the wagon. As we rose, Ulfric and the soldier nodded to each other with an exchange of calm looks. I received a nod and smile from the soldier as well, one I answered with just a nod in return. There was nothing left to smile for, at least not here. Ulfric was first, stepping down with a heavy thump, then the thief. The thief wailed as he was pulled off the cart and made to stand next to Ulfric. I was next, then the soldier who immediately walked to stand behind Ulfric.

"We're not rebels! You can't do this!" The thief cried as he stood bound before a large woman in Imperial armor and an equally large man wearing the same.

"Face your death with some courage, thief." the soldier snapped at him. I empathized with the thief, partially. I had made a daring escape that I was sure would save my life not only a day ago, but here I was. _I knew… I always knew deep inside that I wouldn't live beyond today. _With a heavy sigh and one longer glance at the block, I waited for the end. _It's not so bad… one clean strike and it's over. I'll get to sleep for once, real sleep. I am so tired. _

"Approach the block as we call your name." the imperial female said harshly. _Trying to prove her strength. I bet she's afraid. _I thought to myself as they began calling people up to the block off a list.

"Empire loves their damn lists." The soldier said with a slight chuckle.

"Ulfric Stormcloak! Jarl of Windhelm." The Imperial man said with a sneer.

"It has been an honor, Jarl Ulfric." The soldier said proudly, giving a nod to the man. He slowly walked over and joined the other soldiers by the block, they greeted him with smiles and blessings.

"Ralof of Riverwood!" the soldier looked down and gave me a confident smile as he walked to join the Jarl. I admired his courage greatly.

"Lokir of Rorikstead!" the thief only took two steps forward.

"I'm not a rebel! You can't do this! "The thief screamed and made a fatal mistake, he took off running.

"Halt!" the woman screamed, but Lokir did not, "Archers!" she called and waved her hand to the man. One arrow struck him in the head with a splatter of blood. _Foolish time to display courage, _I thought to myself as I watched his blood seep into the frozen earth. I was standing alone in front of the carriage as the man laughed slightly and looked down to his list. I only grew more nervous as his eyebrows pulled together with a look of confusion.

"You there. Come here." The man said flatly. I took two weary steps forward, I didn't realize how tired I really was. He studied me for only a second, looked down to his list and then the woman.

"Captain, she's not on the list? What do we do?" Her cold brown eyes turned to me with a hateful glimmer, causing my hair to stand on end.

"Forget the list. She goes to the block." She said with a sneer, looking proud as she watched me carefully. _You won't get the satisfaction of hearing me beg. _Putting as much energy and hate as I could, I smiled back. She huffed and I slowly walked to the block and took a space between Ralof and Ulfric. A tall Imperial man walked through a stone archway to stand in front of Ulfric, his short grey hair stirred angrily in the wind and his eyes were hard as stone.

"Ulfric Stormcloak, some in Helgan call you a hero. But a hero doesn't use a power like the voice to kill his king and usurp his thrown!" he shouted in the face of the Jarl. Ulfric's eyes were a stormy grey and he remained incredibly calm as the man continued his speech.

"…You started this war! Plunged Skyrim into chaos! Now the Empire is going to put you down and restore the peace!" he yelled. As he turned around, there was a loud growl that seemed to come from the sky. I looked up cautiously, whatever it was didn't sound like a storm on the horizon.

"What was that?" An Imperial soldier asked General Tullius as he scanned the sky.

"It was nothing. Carry on." General Tullius said flatly.

"Yes, General Tullius. Give them their last rites." The female general told the priestess to her left. The priestess came to stand next to the block and began to deliver the rites.

"As we commend your souls to Aetherius, blessings of the Eight Divines upon you. For you are the salt and earth of Nirn. Our belov-"

"For the love of Talos! Shut up and let's get this over with!" A brave Stormcloak soldier yelled as he boldly walked up to the headsman's block.

"As you wish." The Priestess snapped back. He stood over the block with a brave smile.

"Come on, I haven't got all morning!" he called to the Imperial soldiers, head held high. _May they have a table set aside for you in Sovngarde,_ I thought as the female general put her boot on his back, forcing him to his knees. As his head laid on the block, he managed one more brave remark.

"My ancestors are smiling on me, Imperials. Can you say the same?" he called out. Slowly, the executioner raised his axe over his head and brought it down with a sickening crunch. The brave soldiers head fell into the basket as his headless body spurted blood and fell over lifelessly. I closed my eyes hard and sucked in a ragged breath. What a brave soul. I was proud to have seen his final hours.

"Next Prisoner" The female general called out, scanning the crowd. Her cold malicious eyes fell onto me and I knew I was next.

"The Nord in the rags." She called with a sick smile on her face. I only hesitated a moment. Giving a final nod to Ralof and Jarl Ulfric, I slowly walked to the block. My feet and cheeks were icy as I fell to my knees. One more deep breath and I placed my head on the block, the warm blood from the soldier was thick on the wood and it caked in my hair and ran down my neck, wrenching my stomach. I felt the executioner place the blade on my neck and slowly lift, I sucked in another ragged breath. I closed my eyes tight. As I waited for the sound of the blade cutting the air, a different sound caught my ears, that loud growl thundered through the sky once again.

"I'm coming, Papa." I whispered to myself.

Like an answer from the gods, a black mass appeared over the mountains and the thunderous growl sent everyone reeling.

"What in Oblivions name is that?" someone screamed near me. The black mass dropped down onto the watchtower behind me and roared with a force that knocked me off the block and sent me sliding on the ground. I pushed myself to my knees and shook to try and clear my head. I caught a glimpse of the creature before the flapping of its huge black wings sent me skidding again. The wind left me and my eyes widened in terror, but before I could even think to speak. Someone yelled it for me.

"DRAGON!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

The heat licked my body and screams wailed all around me. The monster had taken to the skies, its powerful wind from its wings sent me skidding along the ground and headfirst into a brick wall. My head throbbed and my vision faded in and out as I fought to try and clear it. My hands were slick with blood and still remained bound, severely hindering my attempts to get to my feet. Frenzied towns people ran in all directions trying to find somewhere safe to hide from the flames raining from the sky. Just as id gotten myself to my knees, someone planted there foot on my back and ran over me with heavy shoes, sending me face down in the dirt again and gasping for air as more shoes ran over my limp body.

Get up. You have to get up or you'll die.

I said it over and over again in my head as I struggled to get to my knees. The world went in and out and my vision stung as the blood from my cuts ran into my eyes. Out of the confusion and darkness I could feel something pulling me up, almost dragging me. I tried to focus, I could make out the familiar voice as it shouted commands at me and dragged me by my shoulders.

"You have to stand! Stand up! Come on, by the Divines, stand up!" I kicked my limp legs and got to my feet, leaning on Ralof heavily as he directed me to a stone tower. We both crumbled onto the floor and the door was slammed shut behind us. I furiously wiped at my eyes with the backs of my hands as someone pulled me from the ground. My head had, for the most part, cleared up and I could see and hear everything with only a slight fuzziness.

"Jarl Ulfric, what is that thing? Could the legends be true?" Ralof questioned between heavy pants. I leaned against the cold stone wall to catch my own breath.

"Legends don't burn down villages." The Jarl said smoothly, completely calm.

"We need to get out of here." He said to me as he looked up the spiral stairs behind me. My legs begged me to not go any farther, my lungs cursed me just as bad. I tried to push myself up from the wall and almost toppled over on my face again. Before I could hit the floor a strong pair of hands caught me and steadied me.

"Whoa, easy. You've made it too far to give up now. You have to go." Ulfrics grey eyes bore into mine and helped clear my mind. I took two deep breaths and nodded, he let go of my waist and I forced my legs to climb the stairs. Ralof easily sprinted ahead and I followed as best I could, my legs screaming for me to stop. Open wounds stung from being opened farther and burns riddled my skin. He waited a short distance from the top where other soldiers waited. I climbed a little faster only to nearly topple all the way back down when the wall burst open and a wall of flames burst in. the dragon rocked the stone tower and I grabbed onto Ralof until the flames died down enough to get by. Charred bodies riddled the burning room. My eyes brimmed with tears to see the faces of men and women twisted in unimaginable agony. Ralof turned my head from it with a strong hand and ushered me to the gaping hole in the wall.

"This isn't going to sound good," he said while pointing to a gaping hole in the roof of a building across from us, "But if we want to get out of here, that's our only way out. We'll have to jump." I shook my head violently, I would never make it! My legs were already barely working and all my wounds wouldn't let me brace myself properly, all I would do is brake my legs! Ralof gave me a pleading look.

"I know you're tired and hurt, believe me, I could use some potions and a nap too. But I don't feel like dying today and I won't be able to live with myself if I let you give up. Please, trust me." His blue eyes held mine as he squeezed my hands and gave me a weak smile.

"Let me save us." He whispered to me. With a heavy sigh, I nodded. They'll be time for sleep later, I thought to myself as he flashed a wide grin and squeezed my hand reassuringly again. I backed up a few feet from the window, hands and legs shaking as I looked at my narrow target. I closed my eyes and took off. One leg pushing in front of the other I picked up speed, with one last step I threw myself out the hole and sailed through the air. I closed my eyes and tried, to no avail, to roll to my side. I crashed through some planks and hay before hitting the hard wood floor shoulder first. The bones crunched and rubbed together, causing me to cry out in excruciating pain. Between deep pants and crying out I tried to roll to my good shoulder. I looked back to the tower, expecting to see Ralof sailing through the air as well, but I didn't see him. Parts of the ceiling started to crash around me in fiery clumps, catching the rest of the wooden house. The heat was getting unbearable. I used most of what strength I had to push myself up to my knees, my wounded shoulder slumped and grinded the other bones around it. Dislocated. I need to get it back in place. I gripped my arm below the joint and bit into my lip, with a grizzly pop I pushed it back into socket.

"AHH!" I screamed and fell to my knees again. Sweat stung my eyes and my shoulder throbbed. Pulling myself up on a dresser, I limped for the stairs. The building fell apart around me as I hobbled for the door. The cool wind felt better on my skin, but the sight was just as bad. Bodies lie broken and burned all over the ground, men and women pushed others out of the way as they ran. Imperial soldiers ran for the road, only a few brave souls stood to shoot arrows at the huge dragon circling overhead. I pushed myself down the road to the gate, as I rounded a tower to my left I saw a boy and an old man cowering behind a burning building. The imperial man who had the list motioned for them to stay as he walked to the road. Just as he turned to motion for them, the creature landed merely feet from him.

"Gods!" he screamed as he dove for the building, a wall of flames licking his boots. The dragon ascended again and continued its horrid circling. I saw my chance and ran to the building where they took shelter.

"Still alive, Prisoner? Keep with me if you want to stay that way!" I followed as he ran down the road and lead the way to a large courtyard. As we entered, I saw the familiar flash of blonde hair as Ralof gave me a relieved look. It soon vanished when he saw the Imperial man standing in front of me. He jogged past the soldier and took my hand, pulling me with him toward the keep.

"We're escaping, Hadvar! There's nothing you can do!" he growled as we pushed through the keep door.

There was minimal damage done to the stone building we ran into, which was a relief. I limped over to a chair propped up against the wall and fell in trying to catch my breath. Ralof slammed the door shut behind us and locked it tight.

"Looks like we're the only ones who made it. That thing was a dragon. No doubt, just like the children's stories and the legends. The harbingers of the end times." Turning, he exhaled sharply. I followed his somber gaze to a dead body across the floor. A red haired Nord male with his neck slashed, the blood pooled under him. Ralof walked over slowly and bent down to him.

"I just saw him yesterday. You don't expect to see people you know dead, war or not. I don't think I'll ever get used to it…" He trailed off silently as he touched the man's cheek lightly. I looked away, giving him his privacy as he said his goodbyes. My hands were still bound at the wrists and Gods did they ache! I looked around furiously to find something to cut them off with. Limping around the room, there was nothing. I fell back into my chair. The slick sound of metal unsheathing peaked my ears and turned me around. Inches from me was Ralof holding a dagger and extending it. Instinct kicked in and I jumped from the chair kicking my legs at him to keep him away. Eyes wide with fear, I pushed myself from him. He lifted his hands and backed away, I kept my eyes on the dagger as he moved.

"Whoa, lassie. Easy, easy. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to cut those bindings off, I know they're hurting you. Easy." I eyed him suspiciously as he slowly walked over to me, hands still raised. He bent down slowly and pulled my arms out. Carefully, he ran the blade between the cloths and pulled up, freeing me. I exhaled the breath I had been unknowingly holding in and pulled the bloody clothes off my wrists. The skin was horribly chapped and torn where the cloth had rubbed it raw, and then some. I grimaced at the sight and touched it gently. Ralof took my elbow and helped me to my feet. My arm had begun to go numb somehow without my knowing. I peeled back the bloody cloth to reveal the gruesome gash beneath. The cut spanned my whole shoulder and oozed blood down both sides. Ralof let out a low whistle and looked away for a moment before touching the skin around it, causing me to flinch and jerk away.

"No doubt that hurts. We need to get outta here and get some potions on that." He nodded determinedly and looked around. There were two gates on opposite sides of the room, Ralof walked to the one on the right and I limped to the one on the left.

"Damn, this one opens from the other side." He pulled on it and cursed again before running to me. I shook my head and he let out another loud grunt and furiously pulled on the gate. I thought I heard the muffled sounds of footsteps coming down the hall. I grabbed Ralofs hands and brought a finger to my mouth to quiet him. We listened and definitely heard the sounds of footsteps and voices, multiple. His eyes widened and he looked around furiously. My heartbeat quickened the closer they got. I had no means of defense and a lousy shoulder. A slight whistle caught my ear as Ralof tossed as axe to me.

"Use it well." He whispered and motioned to the gate. I closed my eyes and steadied my breath.

Just like Papa showed me.

The footsteps were at the gate now. I opened my eyes and prepared to fight for my life.

"Get this gate open!" a woman shouted and the click of the lock let the gate swing open. As soon as she stepped in, I saw my chance. Swinging the axe with all my might I brought the blade down on her neck, the crack under my fingers was surprisingly…nice. She fell to the ground gasping and holding her neck. I couldn't stop myself. Wounds and all I brought the axe down again and again until my vision was stinging with red. The final gargle spewed from her lips along with a stream of blood. Ralof was struggling with a large Imperial soldier to my left. I threw myself across the room and was sliding the blade across his neck in seconds flat. I didn't let go until he hit the floor, scarlet pooling at his feet. Slowly, I met Ralof's eyes. They were wide with a mixture of surprise and defense, I didn't blame him. He wiped the blood from his face and hesitantly nodded.

"T-thank you. Let's get going." He said as he pushed past me to get the key to the gate.

You enjoyed it. Sickening. I thought with silent sorrow as I followed behind him at a distance.

"I'm sorry." I whispered under my breath.

"Huh? You say something?" he turned to me and I shook my head. He stared only a moment longer before giving me a nod and continuing down the passage.

There were more soldiers as we went down. With everyone we dispatched my shoulder throbbed more and more. I kept myself focused and tried to keep my mind off of it. We exited a supply room and went down some steps that lead into a horror story all its own. The door opened to a torture room. We met up with some other Stormcloak soldiers in there and Rolaf inquired about Ulfric, they hadn't seen him. There was obvious worry on his face but I didn't pay it much mind, I walked slowly to the cages. The body of a mage sat in one; burns and cuts all over his skin.

"I hear you, friend. When no one heard your pain, I did." I whispered silently to the bars and the lonely man inside. A hard hand found mine, making me jump. Ralof held up a hand and then looked solemnly through the bars.

"If you ever had any doubt about our cause, let this room and this man be the water that washed it away." He said looking to me with a certain amount of sadness showing through the roughness of his face. He motioned for me to keep going and I whispered one last goodbye to the man in the cage, leaving the room with flashes of the past playing in my mind. More Imperial soldiers awaited as we entered a cave like room. We fought furiously against the assailants and ended up painting the room red. My shoulder and arm below it had gone completely numb, I couldn't fight anymore.

"How's the shoulder holding up, it doesn't look like you're doing too well?" he said, slowly lifting my arm and looking at the deep gash with disgust.

"It's numb." I answered quietly. His eyes grew wide and a small smile played at the corners of his lips. His odd reaction made my eyebrows pull together and my cheeks flush.

"Sorry, I just didn't think you could talk. You don't say much, huh?" Laughing lightly he watched me shake my head slowly.

Silence is safe. I repeated habitually in my head.

We walked steadily on through the cave and, after nearly waking a sleeping bear, we made it outside. The light was almost blinding as it bounced off the snow around us. When my eyes adjusted, my breath caught in my throat. Lush green trees danced in the gentle wind, a clear rolling river ran over beautiful grey rocks, and the air that filled my lungs was the cleanest id ever taken in. I felt it clearing out the soot and smoke from my lungs and I sucked it in greedily. Another loud growl cut through the sky and brought me back, we both jumped behind a rock as the black dragon disappeared behind the mountain tops.

"He's gone. Forever, I suppose. I hope." He sat down with his back propped up against the rock, catching his breath. I dropped down beside him and tried to catch my own. I didn't want to admit how horribly tired I was. I'd been running for so long. We sat in silence, the quick shallow breaths soon became longer and more even.

"Where will you go?" he said after a long moment of silence. I shrugged my shoulders and kept my eyes to the landscape before me.

"Do you have any family? Anyone waiting for you to come home?" I felt a lump in the back of my throat swell as I heard the wheezing of a dying man in my ears. Holding in the sobs and tears threatening to spill over, I shook my head. I could feel him looking at my face, he reached out only a little, but pulled back and placed it back in his lap.

"I'm sorry." He whispered to me. Another long moment of silence fell over us as I listened to the rustling of the trees and the call of the birds, taking deep breaths of the cool mountain air.

"Thank you." I said, almost inaudibly.

"Huh?"

"Thank you." I spoke up a little more and immediately regretted it as my cheeks were overwhelmed with heat. Big blue eyes found mine and shined brightly, his smile following suit.

"You know…" Ralof started," I don't know where you plan to go, but you are welcome to come with me to the small village up the road. My sister and her husband run a mill there. They can give you food, shelter, and patch you up. If you have nowhere to go, Skyrim can be an unforgiving place." He gave me a bright smile and slowly, very slowly, put his hand to my knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I didn't really want to go with him. The kindness in his eyes and on his face could very well be false. Even if I didn't really believe that inside. I had people show me this supposed 'kindnesses' before and I had learned one thing, it was never free… though, I was so tired. My shoulder ached, my arm was numb, my burns ached and my cuts bled more and more… He had saved my life…

"I don't want to be a burden…" I whispered to him. He scoffed and waved his hand in front of me.

"You won't be a bother at all. You helped me get out of there, I couldn't let you wander off alone in the cold all broken and beaten like this." He motioned to my shoulder and other wounds. I silently mulled it over for a moment and, with a small smile, nodded to him. He smiled to me and nodded back. After helping me to my feet, we set off down the road in search of Riverwood. A new beginning.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The walking was tiring, yet peaceful. I was happy to be away from danger and nightmares for however long this held up. The wind danced around the cliffs and rocks, lightly touching my skin and bouncing my hair. I couldn't help but feel a small smile spread over my lips at the peace and calm around me. The river beside us rolled steadily on, crashing over the jagged rocks and pushing through the narrow passages made by time.

_Everything here is so determined to live. So resilient_. I thought to myself as we limped onward.

"I hope we reach Riverwood before the Imperials do. If we do run into any of them, let me do the talking." He threw a cautious look behind us and into the hills. I wanted to ask questions, ask about this war and the dragons. I wanted to know why Ulfric was fighting a power like the Empire and how he had managed to keep the fight going so long when he was so outmanned. I opened my mouth, only to close it when the sounds of voices and the sickening familiar smell of smoke drifted on the breeze to me. We crossed a bend in the road and was met with the lively sight of a gate and people walking around carefree, ignorant to the horrific tragedy that happened only miles away. I felt Ralof breathe a heavy sigh of relief when the gate came into view, an obvious tenseness in his muscles relaxing just a bit. Men and women set out on porches and talked amongst themselves while children ran in the streets laughing and playing games. As we crossed under the heavy wooden structure it felt like the whole town turned its eyes on us. I heard gasps as the women put their hands up to their mouths in shock and men stared with disgust. I looked down to the rags I was wearing, blood soaked, torn, and burned. They barely covered anything anymore and I felt myself getting more and more self-conscious. Like he could feel it drifting off me, Ralof pulled me closer and covered me as best he could. He gave the gathering crowd a hate filled glare.

"What are you all staring at? Haven't you seen a woman before? You should all be ashamed, staring like she is some sort of monster! Shame on you all!" He shouted while he ushered me over a small wooden bridge behind a large woodcutting mill. We walked around the side where a tall blonde woman was cutting firewood. She turned and saw us coming and immediately her face lit up with surprise as she threw her hand to her mouth, running to us.

"Ralof! Thank the gods! Ralof!" she cried with relief and pure happiness, crashing into him with great force and wrapping him into a huge hug. I stood away from them as they held each other tightly, tears running down both their cheeks. I felt my own welling up to see such a wonderful sight.

_Someone to come home to. _I whispered in my head.

I turned my back and wiped my eyes, I was happy but I couldn't watch it for very long. My own longing began to creep back into my head.

"Gerdur, I'm fine, really." He laughed lightly and wiped at his eyes.

"Thank the Gods you came home. I didn't hear from you for so long, I had to think the worst had happened. Gods, what happened to you?" she tried to steady her voice as she motioned to his wounds. I turned back around as Ralof motioned to me, causing Gerdur to gasp with a look of horror and disgust mixing on her face. My cheeks flushed hard and grew hot with embarrassed heat. She stared hard for a little bit before shaking her head and turning back to her brother.

"Talos be blessed, Ralof. What happened? You two look like you've fought the whole war yourselves! Look at this poor girl!" She walked over to me and looked me from head to toe.

"You haven't heard about Helgan?" he questioned.

"Helgan? No, what happened?" she shook her head and walked to the front of the mill, motioning for a large man who was pulling down logs.

"Well, we were ambushed near the border. Jarl Ulfric was with us and we walked right into it. They captured us and shipped us off to Helgan for the chopping block. They wouldn't dare give Ulfric a fair trial! The girl there was laying down on the block when it happened… a dragon. Just like the legends. It swooped down on the building and gave us a chance to escape. We got banged up good, but we fought our way out. I didn't know where else to go… I'm sorry to bring this in on your family, Gerdur." He let his face fall to the ground as he rested it in his hands. The woman walked back to him and rested a hand on his shoulder, patting gently.

"Ralof, you are family. You are welcome here anytime you need. Dragons, though… that's impossible."

"I would have said the same thing if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes." he said wearily to her, meeting her eyes. Just as he said this, a tall bulky man walked over to us and gave Ralof a hard pat on the back.

"Ralof! It's good to see ya! We thought the worst may have happened!" The large man laughed and gave him a reassuring smile. Gerdur turned back to me, pity in her eyes. I stayed silent by the tree and made sure not to breathe too loud so I didn't interrupt the embrace of his family and the joy of his return.

"So, no one else came down the road?" Ralof asked hesitantly. Gerdur and the man turned to each other and shook their heads in unison.

"You guys are the only ones to come down the road today. Do you know if Ulfric made it?" she asked. The large man's eyebrows came together as the word 'guys' and he looked around for someone else. When his eyes found me he jumped back a bit with repugnance on his face.

"Gods!" he shouted and pulled Gerdur back a bit, I flinched and turned away. Vulnerability washed over me as I tried to cover myself the best I could. Gerdur pushed and slapped him in the back of the head as Ralof got up and rushed over to me. He stood and shielded me as Gerdur told the man who I was.

"I'm sorry." I whispered into the torn leather of his uniform.

"Don't apologize, it wasn't you. Though, don't hate Hod either. He was taken off guard. We do look a little rough." He laughed as he pulled the rag of my shirt over my shoulder. I nodded with a small smile as I looked to the couple. Slowly, they walked back to us and Hod had an embarrassed look on his face.

"Sorry, you caught me off guard there." He said sheepishly, scratching his head and looking anywhere but at me. I nodded in answer and looked away myself.

"Well, it's no mistake that were beat up pretty good. Gerdur, if you don't mind, I would like to ask you if we could stay here for a few days. We won't be a burden, we just need somewhere to sleep for a day or two." He asked with a pleading look to his sister. She smiled and pushed his chest.

"Like you even have to ask! You're welcome for as long as you need. Your friend can stay as long as she likes as well. Any friend of Ralof is a friend of mine" She gave a smile that put warmth in my stomach. The kindness of this brother and sister was amazing. I let out a deep breath of relief at the feeling of having somewhere safe to rest my head.

_Thank you, papa. I know you're watching. _I turned my head to the sky and smiled. This was a new day for me.

After thanking Gerdur she and Hod went back to work and Ralof showed me to the house. We walked silently through the town and avoided the gawking looks of the people. They had a modest stone house on a hill behind the town, close to the west gate. We pushed the door open and Ralof immediately set to lighting candles and torches, illuminating the room. It was one wide space, a fireplace sat in the middle of the room, beds sat on each side of the house with other assorted furniture placed functionally around the room. Ralof rummaged through a dresser and pulled out a red vial, some bandages, thread, and a needle before taking a seat in front of the fireplace. He patted the stone floor beside him and I slowly took a seat there. He pulled the heavy cuirass over his head and slung it across the room. He stretched his neck and flexed, his muscles threatening to rip through the thin cloth shirt he wore over them. I only let myself study him for a moment before a wave of embarrassment flooded over me and I had to look away. He looked at my shoulder closely, poking around the bloody mouth of the wound causing me to whimper and flinch each time.

"That's too deep to just pour a potion into, I'm afraid. We need to get the splinters out before we pour one in and sew it up. Luckily, I don't think it damaged the bone. You seem to have gotten it in pretty good. That was brave." He scooted closer, the metallic smell of blood filled my nose and wrenched my stomach as he tore the shirt away from my shoulder. I looked into the fire and tried to keep my breathing steady. I had broken bones and been cut many times, but Gods did this hurt! He gave me a bit of wood to bite down on before he started pulling the bigger pieces out. I tried to act strong and not scream, but I failed. With everyone he slid out I bit the wood harder and harder until I thought I'd broken my teeth. He gave me apologetic looks and whispered apologies many times, I nodded and he would continue. Finally, when I thought I may pass out due to the pain, he spoke.

"Well, that's the last one. I'm sorry, we couldn't leave those in there." He chuckled and got up to dip some water into a bowl, I slowly opened my aching jaw and let the wood hit the floor, panting. He returned and dipped a piece of cloth in the water and, very slowly, he reached to begin cleaning the dried blood off my arm. I watched him carefully as he slowly rubbed my skin, his gentleness was rather surprising considering he was a soldier. I looked into his blue eyes, they shined with a light of life and it wasn't hard to know he was a good soul.

"You aren't much of a talker, huh?" he said in a relaxed tone I hadn't heard him use. I thought about it for a moment, considered shrugging my shoulders and not answering. I had been silent for so long.

"I got use to the silence." I said hesitantly. Surprise crossed his face for only a moment before he continued wiping the blood from my arm.

"What were you doing before you got caught in that ambush, if you don't mind my asking? People don't typically just walk into things like that."

"…Running." I said almost inaudibly, turning my eyes to watch the flames dance on the wood. It was quiet for a while as he finished wiping the blood and cleaning the wound. I didn't meet his face, couldn't meet his face.

"We all got demons we're running from, lass." He told me and very slowly brought a strong hand up to my cheek, placing it lightly there. The initial shock of the touch made me gasp a little, though he didn't move his hand. I could feel his gaze on my face, causing the heat from his hand to bleed onto my cheeks.

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered toward the floor, keeping my eyes fixed there.

"What do you mean?"

"Helping me… You have no idea who I am or what I've done. You took me into your family's home and you're patching my wounds…" he dropped his hand from my cheek, the heat of the spot lingering for a moment longer. He pushed the bloody water away from us and scooted just an inch closer until our knees were touching. Dropping his head nearly into my lap and angling his neck up, he looked into my eyes and gave me that warm smile.

"Maybe I saw something in you worth saving, something you can't see in yourself." He said while those blue eyes held mine in a moment of pure happiness. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, not full of fear like it had before, but full of nervous joy. I smiled back. That was all I knew how to do. Words failed me like they had so many times before this.

"You are the kindest soul I have ever known. I won't ever be able to repay you for all this, but I won't stop trying either." I said with uneven breath, making sure to try my best and get all the sincerity into what I was saying. He reached across my leg slowly and gave my hands a reassuring squeeze, holding onto my fingers for a moment longer. I could feel my breath quickening because of how close he was. I wanted more than anything to scoot away and catch my breath, but I stayed still as a stone.

"I'm glad to hear it. Now, let's get that arm sewed up." He scooted back an inch or so and allowed me to start trying to breathe regularly. Pulling the cork out of the potion, he slowly poured it into the open wound. It popped and fizzed an angry pink color for a moment without any pain, then it felt like the wound was trying to squeeze back together. Skin came together and formed little strings with the open skin and I watched as the wound nearly closed itself! Ralof threaded the needle and immediately set to sewing it up. It hurt, but not nearly as much as I had been prepared for. He worked carefully and quickly, sewing the cut together in a matter of moments. He bit the string off and lifted my elbow up to the air.

"How does that feel?"

"Amazing! Thank you." I smiled at him as I raised my arm with very little pain.

"Good. If you wouldn't mind, I have a few good gashes that need some tending to. I'd do it myself but I can't reach it." He looked at me with a questioning expression before turning around and pulling the thin cloth shirt off. I felt my eyes growing wide with surprise as I took in the strong muscles on his back. I almost didn't notice the deep cuts near his shoulders for staring at his lightly tanned skin. I shook my head once before getting to my feet and picking up the bloody water dish. I walked to the door slowly and pitched the dirty liquid outside, I filled it with clean water, grabbed a new cloth and sat down behind him. Wetting the cloth, I hesitated and then brought the rag down on his hard skin. He jumped at the sudden cold and then let out an airy laugh. I ran the thin cloth down his back as I cleaned him of any foreign substances. The thin cloth didn't keep my hands from touching his bare skin, quickening my pulse and making me subconsciously lean closer to him. I felt my fingers trace down his spine as I made a point to trace every scar I found. When the blood and dirt was gone, I could see the cuts better. They weren't too deep but they were bad enough to get worse if they got infected. I laid my hand on his strong shoulder and pulled the cork from the bottle.

"You have very soft hands." His comment made me blush, but I kept my hand over his smooth skin. Pouring the contents of the potion in, the angry pink fizz came back. Instead of nearly closing the gashes, they closed them all the way up. I watched in amazement as the skin pulled itself together and left only an angry pink scar in its wake. Before I could catch myself I found my fingers running over the smooth skin of his back and tracing the outlines of the new scars. He sucked in an uneven breath that snapped me back to reality and I pushed myself away from him. He chortled before turning and motioning for me to come closer.

"You still have some nasty cuts on you, ill fix them for you." He pointed to my stomach and my legs.

"That's ok, I can get them…" I said reluctantly. His face fell a little at my words, but I told myself this was better. I was taking leaps and bounds with this total stranger I'd only known for a few hours, life saver or not. He pushed the vial over to me and got up to get another vial for himself. I turned my back to him and lifted the disgusting rags of my tattered shirt before beginning to pour the liquid in my various cuts.

We didn't speak for a while as we healed ourselves on the cold stone floor. I checked myself over and let out a content sigh.

_That was the last one, thank the gods._ I thought as I turned around to check on Ralof. He was laying causally on his side in front of the fire, shirtless and golden. He looked like he had been cut from stone, a statue carved to lay comfortably beside the fire in a palace somewhere. Scars looked like rivers on a map as they wound around his abdomen and sides.

"Finished?" he smiled to me, I nodded in response before turning my gaze to the small windows. The sun was setting, pink and orange light leaked in through the foggy glass.

"Well, even though you do look beautiful in those bloody rags, you probably want something a little cleaner?"

"If it isn't too much trouble…" he waved and got to his feet, he walked to a large dresser by the double bed and pulled out a cloth shirt and a pair of brown cloth pants.

"I always keep some clothes here, just in case. These are probably going to be too big but I can tie them tighter if you want." He handed them to me and went back to get a pair out for himself. I looked down at my skin and the around the room once more.

_I'm filthy. I need to wash all of this off of me. I'll feel better when I'm clean. _I thought as I scanned the room for something to wash off with, there was nothing. Shifting nervously on my feet I chewed a bit of my lip before turning back to Ralof.

"Um… I think I'm going to find somewhere to wash off. I don't want to dirty your clothes more." I said nervously.

"That sounds like a good idea, we can go to the river and wash all this grime off. I'll get some rags and we can head down there." I stared at him, wide eyed. The word 'we' had caught my ears and warmed my cheeks. I held the clothes a little tighter to me as he passed and grabbed two cloth rags from the shelf. He opened the door and motioned for me to follow him. I walked nervously, my legs were stiff and cramped a little as we traveled down the cobblestone road. The once lively town had died down as people entered their homes and lit their torches for the night. I looked through windows as families settled in for the night. A longing began to form in my heart, memories flooding my mind of dinner's long since passed. I pulled my eyes away reluctantly and kept them low until we came to the river. We walked to the muddy bank and I looked around for some kind of a shield from everyone. I found a set of huge rocks to my right that made a shallow lagoon.

_Perfect. _I smiled and walked toward the shallow pool.

"Where are you going?" he called to me as I walked away.

"Here." I said as I pointed to the large rocks ahead of me. He nodded hesitantly and I climbed over the first one to the pool below. Setting my clothes on a nearby branch, I slowly pulled the rags from my skin. They pretty much crumbled as I threw them aside. Slowly, I dipped a toe in the water. Warm. It felt inviting as I plunged my foot deeper. Inching my way down I submerged myself to my shoulders in the warm water. I let out a deep content sigh as my muscles began to relax themselves. The quiet was a blessing, it eased my head and nerves. Sitting with the gentle waves, I started working on forgetting. With every cupful of water I dumped over my head I hoped it would take with it the memories and the hate I had deep inside of me. They would be washed away into the water and cause no one pain or grief anymore. I scrubbed my skin clean and lingered there for a while longer. I didn't want to get out of the safety of this lagoon, didn't want to have to face the world with all its monsters and killers… The rocks shifted overhead and I immediately dunked myself. I looked with narrow eyes and saw the familiar blonde hair and brown skin. He looked around and then started searching all around the rocks. I surfaced and made sure to cover myself as he turned around.

"Hey, got a little worried when I didn't see you." He laughed nervously and looked at the ground. I could have sworn I saw a little flush in his cheeks. I waded my way to the edge, close to his feet.

"Well, I just wanted to check on you. It's getting pretty late so I was thinking we could head back to the house soon." I nodded and he quickly climbed back over the rocks and disappeared from view. I let out one more deep breath and climbed out. The air had chilled considerably and I shivered, exposed to the wind. I slipped the fresh clothes on and, just like Ralof had thought, they were huge. They hung off my skin like sheets. I surprised myself when I started giggling at how silly they looked. I climbed back over the rocks, holding onto the clothes so they didn't slip off, and saw Ralof sitting on the edge of a stone bridge looking over the river. I slowly walked over to him and took a seat beside him, dangling my legs over the edge. We didn't speak or look at each other for a while, just sat in the quiet embrace of the night and watched the moon dance on the top of the water.

"The clothes are a little big." He said with a chuckle. I giggled back and nodded to him. He turned and smiled to me, taking the draw string of my shirt, pulling it tight before tying it off. He stood up and jumped down to the stone before walking behind me and turning me around.

"Don't hit me." He whispered as he reached cautiously to the strings of the pants. He pulled them tight as I kept my eyes on his neck, embarrassed whe I felt the heat of his breath on my own neck. After he tied them off I slid off the stone and looked myself over. No longer dressed in sheets, he motioned for me to follow him and we set off back to the house.

The room was dark when we entered. Gerdur, Hod and a little blonde haired boy laid down in the double bed to our left. The boy had short shaggy blonde hair, much like Ralofs. He slept peacefully between his parents with a content smile on his face. Ralof grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the smaller bed.

"This is where you can sleep. I'll sleep on the floor." he went to lay down but I quickly reached down and pulled on his arm, a look of shock spreading on his face. For a moment I couldn't make my mouth work as I tried to tell him I wanted the floor.

"Um… I wanna sleep on the floor. I haven't slept on a bed in a long time and I'll never get to sleep. Besides, you have been more than kind to me. I couldn't live if you slept on the stone floor in your own home…" I pushed his chest until he fell onto the bed with a loud thump. He looked at me for a moment, surprised and speechless at how much I had spoken or touched him. I laid down on the hard floor beside the bed and rolled my back to him.

"No, no. a woman can't sleep on the hard floor. Get up here." He whispered, annoyed. I shook my head and scooted farther away. He let out a frustrated grunt and I heard the squeak of the bed as he bent down beside me.

"Fine. Since neither of us will budge, we'll both sleep on it." I shook my head frantically as he bundled my shirt in his hand and lifted me with ease, setting me on the soft bed. He scooted me to the wall before climbing in. I was rigid as his body touched mine and he pulled the fur cover over us. I tried to keep myself as far from him as I could. My cheeks were on fire like my pulse as the smell of his skin drifted over to me, wood and clean water, the manly smell filled my head. His wet hair tickled my neck and made me pull away farther.

"Please, try to relax. You know I won't do anything unsavory. I couldn't let myself sleep here with you on the floor and you wouldn't let me sleep there. Just relax, you feel like you're made of stone." He put one hand on my shoulder, I jerked away but he didn't back down. He put both hands on my shoulders and brought me back to the soft hay. I closed my eyes tight and let out an uneven breath I had been subconsciously holding.

_It's ok, it's ok, I know its ok. _I repeated it over and over as the warmth from his body melted the chill on my skin. I slowly let myself relax, rigid limbs falling limp with comfort and warmth. I scooted farther down and let my head lay on the soft pillow. My back hurt at first, but soon it too was thankful for the soft hay I was laying on.

"There you go." He whispered into my ear in a deep voice that flared my cheeks up again. He scooted closer until my head was touching his chest. He let one arm lay over my waist before closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh. Body totally relaxed, I couldn't imagine how tired I was. My lids drooped and I struggled to keep them open. I yawned quietly, pushing my head to his chest completely, and not caring about anything else in the world except how I had wanted a perfect moment like this for so long. I traced shapes on his chest until I couldn't keep my eyes open. Before I felt like I would be pulled under into a deep sleep whether I wanted to or not, I whispered to him.

"Thank you, Ralof. Thank you for living and reminding me why I should want to." The large arm pulled me closer and rubbed my hair. I drifted to sleep in the secure arms of a soldier with dreams of romance clouding my brain.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The rise and fall under me… the warmth… the low snores in my ear. I stretched my aching muscles, letting a content sigh slip through my lips. I let my eyes flutter open and was immediately met with the blinding light of day through the window. After letting my eyes adjust I sat up in the small bed and ran a hand through my tangled hair. It took a moment for me to remember where I was but soon the stones and small room came back to me. The remembrance of the day prior made me grow wide eyed as I remembered something else. I turned my head slowly and saw him sprawled out next to me. Blonde hair ran over the pillow and his sharp jaw was pointed up as he laid beside me breathing lightly onto my back. I put my hands up to my mouth to prevent me from gasping with surprise and waking him.

_Gods, I really slept beside him. What have I done. Oh, gods… _ I brought my hands to my eyes and pushed to try and wake up without seeing him. Yet, there he was. Laying in the pale sunlight with his skin lighting up golden. I watched his face carefully, making sure he really was asleep and that it was deep enough for me to slip away without waking him up. Deep snores came through his throat and his eyes lay closed, casting dark shadows on his scruffy cheek.

_I want to call him something… beautiful? Is that what he is? Why do I feel this gnawing in my stomach…?_

Part of me wanted to curl back up and go back to sleep in the arms of this kind man and pray I would never wake again. The other part of me, the logical part, told me I had to leave. I had to get away before my past caught up with me and I brought it down on this loving family. I took a deep breath and looked to the opposite side of the room. Empty. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief before pushing the covers off of me carefully. When he didn't move or show any other signs of being awake, I got to my knees and lifted one leg to the side of the bed. Straddling him, I put my hands on top of the headboard and slid over, careful to not disturb him in any way. When I was sure he wasn't on the verge of waking up, I slung my other leg over and hit the floor with a quiet thud. I held my breath as he let out a heavy sigh and rolled over. I listened to his deep breathing as I laid motionless in the floor. Crawling on my hands and knees, I made my way to the fireplace and warmed my cold hands and feet. I grabbed some of the food that laid strewn about near the fire and put it in a knapsack before grabbing a pair of shoes from the dresser near the large double bed. I checked to make sure I hadn't taken too much before tip-toeing to the wooden door. Before I left, I looked back at the golden man lying in the bed. A strong arm was thrown over one pillow while his golden hair was spilled out over the other. His muscles flexed as his chest rose and fell steadily. My heart ached to drop this bag and crawl back under his arm where it was safe. I had dreamed things like this as I laid on stone and hay in the cage. Dreamed of a man saving me and taking me away to some faraway place where I could live and be happy. As I stood with a hand on the door, utter loneliness washed over me. I had to pull myself away or risk staying and hurting his family. I pushed the door open and it gave a rusty squeak before I quickly rushed out.

The unfiltered daylight dazed me a bit when I walked outside, the air was warm and fresh and I took it in greedily. I laced my boots up, hoisted my backpack over my shoulder, and set out on the cobblestone path. I wanted to avoid the mill and his family so I turned and walked out the west gate into the snowy wilderness. My legs weren't sore anymore so I made good time as I walked the road with little knowledge of where I was going. Hiking through the mountains kept my head quiet, the beautiful scenery made my heart flutter. I had never seen views like this before, not even in Bruma.

I wasn't very sure how long I had walked when I happened on a large stone tower in the distance. I looked hesitantly at it as it cast a dark shadow on the snow. I couldn't shake the bad feeling it gave me as I looked at its cold stone. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I headed towards it in the snowy road. I could see a hulking figure standing outside the door, my heart picked up the pace as I tried to keep myself calm and not make eye contact.

_Get him to the ground and go for the throat. Limber yourself up. _My dad's voice in my head startled me a bit but I didn't let it show on my face. I repeated it over and over as I drew closer to the orc leaning casually on the stone doorway.

_I will not be a slave again. _I stated it firmly in my head. _Never again would I be a prisoner._

"Well look what we have here. What is a little girl like you doing out on this frozen road? Did you need someone to keep you warm?" he laughed darkly as his black eyes scanned me over, making me sick. I shook my head as I kept walking.

"Hey, where are you going? I just wanna talk…for now." He reached his hand out and grabbed my arm firmly. I could almost hear the snap in my own head. Before I could even think, I dropped the bag and swung my fist with all my might. His head snapped to the side from the force of the blow, which shocked me, but I didn't wait. I threw myself onto him and dug my fingers into the green exposed flesh of his neck and held on with all the force in my body. He thrashed wildly under me and grabbed at his axe that was strapped to the side of his armor. Hard punches landed into my side, but I didn't let go.

_Let go and I die. Not now, not today. _

I dug my nails in harder until crimson streaks began running down his neck. He writhed and punched at me more, he just wouldn't stop thrashing! Locking my legs around his waist, I pulled one hand away and dug my bloody nails into his eyes. The pop was sickly sweet music to my ears as I dug in and scratched the socket. He screamed and squirmed harder under me but I had a hard lock on. One hand dug into his eyes, I reached beside him and unsheathed the axe. One hard swing brought it down on the neck my hand had been on. It was hard and crunched as I brought it down again and again until his screams faded into a gargle and then into nothing at all. I wasn't given time to snap back before a woman clothed in iron armor came pounding down the stairs inside. I jumped to my feet and hid on the other side of the door waiting for her to come out. She rushed outside and gasped at the body. I jumped from beside the opening, grabbed her hair and pulled her head back before sliding the blade across her pale neck. A crimson stream squirted from the wound quickly and stained the white snow, red. I walked inside and listened for movement. There was a big Nord looking out over the landscape on the roof. I slowly crept up the stairs until I was inches from his back. With a violent shove, he went sailing over the side and landed with a pleasant thump. I stood on the roof trying to catch my breath. I dropped the axe to my feet and fell to my knees, feeling the smile leave my lips.

_Monster. That's all you are. _

I sat there for a long time and tried to chase away the satisfaction I knew I felt at what I had done. I pushed my wet hands into my eyes and let it all out. The sobs swelled up until I couldn't hold them back any longer. Hot tears warmed my cheeks as they fell to the floor.

"Papa, I'm sorry. I'm a monster. I'm so very sorry… I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you then…" I wailed it into the snow and mountain air around me. I prayed for forgiveness and sat sobbing to whatever gods would hear me.

My head was pounding when I had finally calmed down enough to think. The sobs weren't nearly as hard as they had been and the tears had stopped carving warm paths down my cheeks. I stood up and wiped my eyes before looking around. Snowy white rolling mountains cradled around me in every direction. I turned around to the north side and something caught my eye. A city. There was a large grey wall jutting out of the snow and smoke rolled from it. A city meant safety and a new start, possibly a new life altogether. I decided to set out for it. I had nowhere to go and a crowded city was the safest I could possibly get here. With a steadying breath, I picked my backpack up, took some food and money I found around the rickety tower, and left.

I hiked for almost a day before the large stone gate came into view from the road. I passed a stable before coming onto the bridge to the gate. I got many questioning looks and people whispered to themselves as they stared wide-eyed and curious. I ignored them and made my way to the large wooden door. The walls were almost of Bruma, large and sturdy. They gave me a sense of home and I stood below them with a smile playing on my lips. The guards by the gate gawked a little as I walked into the large city, I looked myself over and found why. Again, I had blood smeared all over my clothes. I sighed and tried fruitlessly to wipe it off. I only smeared it. Disgusted, I walked through the streets aimlessly in search of a vendor to purchase some new clothes before I attracted too much attention. As I sauntered around the city, I managed to find a stall selling armor where an old lady yelled out the day's prices. I purchased a shirt and some pants before going to the local tavern, renting a room and changing in there. The small room was cozy and comfortable as the sounds of people laughing and talking floating up through the floorboards with the smell of food and drink. The sun was dropping quickly behind the mountains as I took out some food from my pack and ate before turning in for the night. I blew out the candle on the side table and settled in between the soft sheets. Laying in the darkness, I let my mind wander to a town far away from here. I saw the soldier waking up from his slumber to find himself alone in the bed. Had he been surprised? Maybe even…sad? I doubted it. He probably felt relief at not having to take care of someone. I rolled over, annoyed at myself for feeling a longing in my heart. I pushed it down deep inside of me as just being thankful to the person who helped me. I closed my eyes and tried to dive into a dark ocean of sleep.

I tossed and turned for hours, growing only more frustrated with each position. After trying unsuccessfully for almost another hour, I gave up and got out of bed. I slipped my boots on and decided on going for a walk to tucker me out. I walked quietly down the steps, the tavern was dark and quiet as I slipped out the door. The cold wind bit at my exposed skin, though I just kept walking to the gate. Once I was outside, I walked down the bridge with the moon to my side lighting everything up in white light. I walked casually down to the river and watched the moon dance over the water. The calm tides relaxed me as I laid back on the wet grass and listened to the crash of little waves on the bank. Bugs chirped and everything just fell into place around me. I hummed a tune I had heard when I was younger with the sounds of nature replacing the instruments.

"Mind if I join you?" my eyes snapped open at the sound of a deep and husky voice over top of me. I immediately scooted away and got to my feet before I whirled around to see who it was. A towering man wearing a leather cuirasses and a bear skin coat stood a short distance from me, long brown hair framing his strong jaw and swaying lazily in the night air. Even with nothing but the moon illuminating the ground, I recognized him.

"Helgan." I whispered lightly on the breeze which seemed to take the words to his ears because he gave a nod in response. He lifted his hands up in surrender and sat down with a strong thump on the grass where I had been laying. I hesitantly took only two steps toward him before sitting down myself. We sat in silence for a while, I wasn't going to be the one to speak first.

"I'm glad you made it out of Helgan. That was the worst tragedy we have faced through this whole war in terms of casualties…" He spoke quietly without breaking his gaze that went out over the water. I didn't know what to say exactly, so I didn't.

"How did you make it out of the city?" he said as he turned with a curious look.

"Ralof. He saved me." saying it was more embarrassing than I had thought it would be. I directed my gaze back to the water and focused on running my hand through the cool grass.

"He's a good soldier, possibly the best I have. You were in good hands from the beginning." Half a smile pulled the end of his lip up as his eyes glittered in the moonlight. There wasn't any need to confirm this, we both knew. The awkward quiet set in again and I suddenly wanted nothing more than to be in the comfort of my little room in the inn. I couldn't force myself to look in his direction.

_This is the Jarl of Windhelm, sitting right here._

Chewing my bottom lip I heard the quiet rattle of metal as he stretched out on the grass inches from me. He looked to the stars for a long moment before he turned to look at me.

"What brings you out to the darkness unarmed and unafraid?" his comment made a light chill run down my back.

"I needed the silence. The calm. Everything has happened so fast." I blurted it out and quickly shut my mouth before going into any real detail that might make him ask questions.

"Yes. I love to sneak down here at night to clear my head."

"Why are you doing all this?" he looked at me, puzzled. "The war and all that." I clarified. He took a deep breath and looked back to the stars with a serious look setting in his eyes.

"Because I believe in freedom. I want people to stop fearing the loss of their homes and lives at the hands of a power so many miles away. I had my freedom taken from me, you may not understand what that's like, but I can tell you. It's the worst feeling you can have. To be powerless… I want to give the power back to those who need it."

_I understand perfectly. I was a slave too. _I felt my throat heated up and I swallowed hard to keep it down.

"A noble cause." I said quietly. He laughed lightly under his breath before rolling to his side to look at me.

"So, where is Ralof now?" I blushed as I pictured myself in his arms asleep again. Slightly shaking my head to clear it, I spoke.

"Probably in Riverwood. I left him there with his family."

"You left him?" he said with peaked interest.

"He healed my wounds and allowed me to take shelter at his sister's house. I couldn't allow myself to bring them trouble after all the kindness they showed me, so I left early in the morning and started walking. I stumbled upon this city and I thought I would try to start new here." I motioned to the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest.

"That was very kind. I thought there was something different about you when I first saw you in Helgan." I blushed furiously in the cold air as I tried to make it unnoticeable to him, I hoped the dark would hide it. A violent shiver rippled through me as a large gust of wind stung my pale skin. He raised his eyebrows to me and sat up. I watched him cautiously as he unfastened the bear skin coat from his shoulders and scooted a little bit closer. He moved carefully as he draped it over my shoulders, the thing weighed a ton and it immediately made me bend a bit under it. The fur had looked so light on him. I tried to detest but he simply waved them away as he fastened the button on the shoulder. The heat was almost as intoxicating as the smell. A deep woodsy smell mixed with sweet berries and musk. I looked to him once more for confirmation, it came in the form of a smile, before wrapping myself in the warm fur.

"I have many others, consider it a thank you gift for making it out of Helgan with one of my best soldiers." A flash of perfect white teeth made me catch my breath in my throat and look away.

"Thank you." I whispered nervously back to him.

"So, I didn't catch your name?" he sat back down next to me in his leather armor that revealed huge biceps that made the leather around them whine as he moved.

"Epiales." I said breathlessly.

"Where are you staying, Epiales? You are new to the city." The sound of his deep voice saying my name made the blushing worse. I shrugged my shoulders. I hadn't thought past tonight really.

"I have enough money to rent another room tomorrow. I plan on getting a job tomorrow and working to rent it for a while. I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore…" I trialed off with a sigh at just how little I had thought everything through. The money would run out and I'll be on the street.

"Well, if you find yourself needing shelter, feel free to come by the palace. We have lots of extra rooms." I pulled my eyebrows together and blurted out before I could even remember I was sitting next to a Jarl.

"Why are you all so happy to helping me? What is the catch, people don't do things for free." I gasped a little at my own abruptness and put my hands to my mouth.

_You've done it now._

I expected to see some offence at the least in his eyes, there was only understanding.

"Good point you make. Maybe I just have a feeling about you, or maybe people have been so unkind to you all your life that you can't believe in true generosity?" I looked at him wide eyed before my stomach tried to tie itself into knots. I looked away with a mixture of sadness and embarrassment. I needed to get back to my room before I said something stupid. I rose slowly to my feet and he did as well, his eyes were stern and never left mine.

"I have to go…" I tried to unfasten the coat but his strong hand shielded the button from me.

"Keep it. I hope to see you again, Epiales. You are very real and that isn't common in these times." I held my breath and nodded to him before sprinting off toward the gate. I didn't stop running until I was safely in my room with the door closed. My heart thudded in my chest and I finally let go of the breath I was holding. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and panted for a moment before falling into bed. The coat swallowed me whole and made the cover under me useless.

_Jarl Ulfric of Windhelm._

His name ran through my head as I remembered the look he gave me at Helgan. A mixture of concern and surprise. My heart skipped a bit as I pulled the fur tightly around me and inhaled the masculine smell that still clung to it. I found myself exhausted from the meeting and I drifted quickly into dreams.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The sound of laughter and the smell of food cooking woke me up. I felt my smile from the dreams I had the night before still lingering on my face as I stretched and sat up in bed. The room was cold, so I didn't bother removing the bearskin coat as I laced my shoes up, braided my hair, and walked down the stairs. The smell of cooking meat made my mouth water. Not many took notice of me when I stepped down from the stairs and walked to the bar, but when they finally did it was like a thick blanket of silence fell over the tavern. I didn't really take notice until the woman behind the counter turned with a smile that quickly faded as she gawked at the heavy fur coat on my shoulders. A knot worked its way into my stomach as she stared, I looked around uncomfortably and saw she wasn't the only one, almost everyone was staring. I turned back and she met my eyes before forcing a small smile on her lips and a light nervous laugh.

"Sorry, what can I do for you?" she never moved her gaze from my shoulders.

"Could I get something to eat and drink? Whatever is fresh is fine for me." I gave her an equally nervous smile before she scurried back into the back. I tried to not focus on the nerve-racking silence that had fallen over this once lively bar. Some whispered, I tried hard to listen in but I couldn't quite make out what they were saying. A few more anxious moments passed before the woman with the faux smile came walking in with a plate of food and some mead. I ate in maddening silence as every inch of my body burned from the penetrating stares of the bar patrons honed in on me. I paid for my meal and practically ran for the door. I let the breath out I had been unknowingly holding in the cold winter air before looking around and trying to think of what my next move would be.

_Job. I need a job. _I took off to the market district in search of some mind numbingly simple task that would keep me distracted for most of the day. I didn't see anyone who looked nice enough for me to approach until I came to a row of stalls and a blacksmiths forge. Sitting on a grinding wheel sharpening a sword was a Nord woman with a smile on her lips humming lightly while she skillfully honed the blade. I had sharpened and worked metal before in the forges for my master so I casually walked over to her and gave a warm smile when she looked up at me.

"What can I do yo-"Her words caught in her throat as she looked me over, her eyes grew wide with shock and her mouth fell open just a bit. My cheeks heated up and that horribly uncomfortable feeling washed over me again. Frustration built up steadily with every moment she sat there with that dumbfounded look on her face. I narrowed my eyes and felt them bearing down on her with immense weight, she felt it too, and slowly she rose her blue eyes to meet mine. She snapped her mouth shut and tried to give an apologetic laugh that came out too dry to be real.

"Is there a problem?" I muttered between clenched teeth and narrow eyes.

"No, I was just a little surprised is all." She tried once again to smile and laugh but she never met my eyes.

"At?" I inquired angrily.

"Well, um… isn't that jacket Jarl Ulfric's?" she said it quietly while motioning to my shoulders.

_ I should have never taken this blasted thing. _I looked around nervously and chose to ignore her question.

"Do you have any work you need done?" my question obviously wasn't what she had hoped I would say due to the annoyed look that swept over her face for a moment. She let out a sigh and looked around before shaking her head.

"No, not that I can think of. Sorry." Her face was smug as she crossed her arms and leaned on the workbench behind her.

_ One quick slice, you don't know who you're playing with._ I pushed the thought out of my head and I turned to walk away.

"This is the Jarls." I said it only at a whisper. I knew she heard it, but she would be the only one. The sound of metal clanging and footsteps walking to me put a smile on my face. A hand on my shoulder turned me around and the woman looked to me with eyes full of curiosity and wonder.

"You're lying."

"Doesn't it look familiar?"

"Yes, but… how did you get it?" She reached a cautious hand out to the thick fur and ran one hand over it, jerking it back like the threads could cut her skin and she may ruin its beauty. It wasn't hard to see the infatuation, it almost radiated from her.

"He gave it to me in an act of kindness."

"Gods, he is the kindest man…" she trailed off as she looked the heavy coat over with greedy eyes. I could see the longing and that would be my leverage. I leaned closer into her ear, holding the fur close enough for her to be intoxicated by the masculine smell. When I felt her ball one hand into the cloth, I made my offer.

"You could have it you know. Though, I would have to have a job so I could get a new coat…" I let my words sink into her ear before I backed away, taking the coat with me. She chewed her lip before she looked at me with a contemplative look. I pulled the fur around me a little more, just to let it sink in. she looked around longingly before breathing a heavy sigh and coming in close to whisper in my ear.

"Fine, but you'll have to bring it inside and don't tell anyone. I'll let you do odd jobs around the forge for a while." She pulled my arm and led me inside a building behind the forge. Once inside I pulled the coat off gently and gave it to her. Her eyes grew wide with amazement as she buried her head into the fur and almost squealed with joy. I felt a content smile work its way onto my lips as I watched her swoon over something as petty as the jacket.

"So, what was he doing that made him give you his jacket?" she pulled two chairs beside the fire and looked at me with eager curiousness while motioning me to sit.

"Well… It was late at night and he was walking along the riverbank, I was sitting there and we just talked for a little while… I got cold so he gave me his coat." I shrugged and looked at the floor. Recalling that night was both embarrassing and, in a way, dreamlike. I kept my head directed at the fire so I couldn't see her reaction.

"Gods, you're so lucky! I've lived here my whole life and he hasn't said more than a few words to me. He comes down sometimes to ask about the weapons stock we have here for the Stormcloaks, but he doesn't stay long. He's a really brave and busy man so I never say anything." She huffed a little and we sat there quietly for a few awkward moments.

"So, how long have you been in love with him?" an embarrassed look flashed over her face.

"I do not love him." She rolled her eyes and shook her hand to casually dispel what I had said.

"Please, I don't know you and I can feel your affection rolling off of you. It's apparent from the way you talk about him that you care much more than just a blacksmith would."

"…well, it started the first time he came to ask about our forge. He was asking if we would make weapons for the Stor-"

"Our forge?" I questioned. She put a hand up to her lips and about that time there was a large bang and a crash as the door behind us hit the wall with immense force, sending some hanging weapons tumbling down to the floor. I spun around and saw a huge rustic looking man standing in the doorway, anger practically rolled off of his body. He looked to me and then to the woman before stomping over to us.

"I figured this was where you were! Do you have any idea how many weapons we're expected to make this week and I find you in here gossiping with this woman! Get outside!" He screamed at her, making her flinch and practically run for the door whispering apologies. I cowered back a little when he turned his rage filled eyes to me, sending a little chill down my back.

"I'm sorry you had to see that. My apprentice tends to wander off and neglect her duties when we have a large order that we must fill." He pinched the top of his nose and took a few raspy breathes before looking at me again, his eyes were much softer this time. I stood up a little more and nodded.

"It's ok. We were just discussing the fact she agreed to let me work around the forge." His head snapped up to me and anger slowly seeped back in.

"She doesn't have the authority to hire someone to work at my forge, only I do."

"I figured that was the case when you burst in, I was under the impression it was her forge." He sighed and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I don't have the coin to pay anyone else. She definitely doesn't, so in a way I saved you from being swindled. Well call it even." He gave me an apologetic smile before following me back out into the cold air. The woman sat sharpening again, she raised her head only a touch to meet my eyes and I made sure to push all the hate I could into that one moment.

I walked aimlessly around town inquiring about work that I could do. No one would even hear about a stranger working in their shop or around there home. I found myself sitting on the stairs in front of a large double archway.

_This leads to the palace. Ulfric is in there… _ I turned back around to look the town over. Hard grey stones and even harder people. With a sigh of defeat, I let my head fall between my legs as I closed my eyes and listened to the world around me.

_What am I going to do? _

The sun dipped below the walls and cast an eerie darkness over the town. I didn't have enough gold to rent the room for another night, so I stood up and began the shameful walk to the inn. I didn't look at the patrons to see if they would continue their horrible staring, I just walked up to the room and gathered my things. The air felt colder than it had any time before as I made my way back outside the city gate towards the bridge. I watched the stars dance over the black rivers surface, climbing onto the side of the bridge I sat down with my legs dangling freely over the edge. The cold wind whipped around me as I sat there, listening. When regular sets of chills and shakes began to rock my body, I opened my eyes. Carefully, I scooted back and landed on the hard stone of the bridge. I didn't know exactly where I would go tonight, though I had an idea of where to begin my journey. I looked to the riverbank and saw it, a large hulking shadow sitting there looking over the water. I drew closer and saw the familiar outline of dark hair swaying in the night air. My heart fluttered in my chest for a moment and I felt my cheeks grow hot in the cold air. I watched him sit there in the dark for a bit before I tried to talk my legs out of carrying me towards him. One in front of the other they walked almost by themselves toward the end of the bridge, then the end of the stables, and then merely feet away. My heart hammered in my chest while the tips of my fingers felt unnaturally cold.

_Why am I so afraid? _I stood behind the shadow of a tree and watched his armor rise and fall with his breathing.

_Only a few more steps…_

The sound of a branch breaking made both of us tense and snap our heads to the left. Out of the shadow of the bridge came a woman, she was holding a familiar jacket and I immediately knew who it was. The lady from the forge.

_I'm such a fool, I lead her right here. This was his place to get away and I've disgraced it. _

I pushed my hands to my temples and shook my head with frustration. I watched as she walked slowly to him, he stood there watching her carefully in return. When she had crossed the distance, she spoke.

"Well, what are you doing out here so late my Jarl?" I felt my stomach wretch and almost gagged aloud.

"Umm… I come down here occasionally… to be alone." Her messy brown hair touched his cuirasses as she got closer, trying her best to work her way to almost touching him.

"I can understand that. Though, it's nice to have company sometimes, isn't it?" She gave him a sly and seductive smile that made bile rise in my throat. He backed up a step before looking down at her and doing a double take when his eyes met her shoulders.

"Where did you get this coat?"

"A nice lady gave it to me earlier. Do you think I look nice?" she spun around and let it slip down, exposing the fact she wasn't wearing much under it. I turned away and put my back to the tree. I didn't want to see how this was sure to end.

_Why am I so mad? _

I closed my eyes and listened as the conversation went on.

"Umm… you look… presentable. Now, did this woman have long black hair and light blue eyes?" my breath caught in my throat as I heard him describe me.

"Jarl Ulfric, don't you know it isn't polite to talk about another woman to a beautiful lady?" I heard her sickening giggle as flashes of me twisting her head off with my bare hands danced through my mind.

"I'm sorry, but it's important. Did she have those qualities?"

"Ugh, yes she did. It doesn't matter though, I saw her walk out the gate earlier as I was coming down here. She's probably long gone by now. I say good riddance, you can't trust many strangers these days and she looked particularly menacing." I quietly huffed and peered around the tree, giving her a malicious look that I prayed would chill her blood. He looked around for a moment before turning back to the woman, he was a little startled by how close she was. Her green eyes looked at his with a yearning even I could see from far away. He looked down at her with surprise in his own eyes. I could sense it was my time to leave. I turned back and looked around, the light from the moon was enough to illuminate everything and make sneaking away that much harder. There were no trees except the one I was cowering behind now. I cursed lightly under my breath and walked a few carful steps away from the tree. Still in its shadow, I hiked my bag up a little and tried to stay in the darkness of the ground. Behind me, I heard an annoyed groan that made me turn back. Ulfric stood holding the woman's arms in his hands as he pushed her away. Drawn in by her furious expression, I stayed and watched.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to come to the river with minimal clothing and try to seduce a stranger. You need to go home." His stern face never wavered as he let her go and started walking away. She eyed him hatefully and I felt a strong proud feeling wash over me. This was short lived when I saw him walking toward me. I had been so wrapped up in watching her rejection that I hadn't moved, he would see me. I pressed myself as hard as I could to the tree and held my breath as the heavy steps drew closer. I closed my eyes and willed him to keep going. One heavy step landed inches from mine and kept going, I let a little air go before opening one eye to see him walking away. I slowly inched away from the tree, one foot finding solid ground and the other finding a nice stick that crunched loudly in the night air.

_Damn!_

Ulfric whirled around again and our eyes met. I staid perfectly still, even though I knew he could see me. He took two more steps toward me while he blinked his eyes.

"Epiales?" I staid perfectly still while he walked over and let out a chuckle. The deep melodic voice only quickened my already hammering heart.

"You caught me." I whispered a little harsher than I had meant to.

"Seems I did. How long have you been there?"

"Long enough, I suppose." I threw my bag over the other shoulder uncomfortably.

"Well, I was just sitting here when that strange woman came over here. Did you give her my coat?" he chuckled and looked to see if she'd gone.

"Trust me, she would have gotten much more use out of it than me. Maybe not now…" I trialed off and tried to not let my smile show through.

"How much was she willing to pay?"

"We didn't exchange coin. I thought she would get me a job but it turns out she couldn't." I felt anger swelling in my throat again at the memory of her sitting so smug at the grinding wheel. He motioned for me to follow him as he walked back towards the river. I chewed my lip and thought about it, looking back to the road and him. With a sigh, I walked back to sit next to him in the cool grass.

"So you got nothing?"

"Yup." I looked out over the water in disgust.

"So, where are you staying? You didn't have your things yesterday." He motioned to my pack. I shrugged and kept my gaze out over the lazy water. I thought about curling up in the grass right there, who would care? We didn't speak for a while and it was peaceful. I listened to the breeze and his steady breathing, stealing peeks of his chiseled face and his muscular body.

"You know… you could stay at the castle… if you would like. It gets cold here at night and if you don't have anywhere to stay the night seems to drag on a lot longer." He whispered it carefully, choosing his words and seeing how I took each one.

"I've had many long cold nights before this one. Thank you, though I feel like your people would highly disagree to a stranger coming into the palace. They couldn't seem to cope with me wearing your jacket earlier." I chuckled and shook my head at the memory of all those eyes looking at me suspiciously.

"They're just guarded in this tumultuous time, that's all." He gave me a sincere smile that warmed my cheeks.

_Epiales, go with the man. _I jerked around at the sound of a familiar voice ringing in my head. Furiously, I scanned the landscape for his silver hair and loving eyes. I found nothing. An empty feeling spread through me and I turned to look back at Ulfric, he was looking at me curiously.

"What was that?"

"I…thought I heard something. I'm sorry." I looked back at the ground and pulled on my boot stings.

_Go with him? Why Papa? _

Nothing. No answer. I knew I heard him? Why would he want me to go with the Jarl…? I silently mulled it over and finally came up with my answer.

"… Are you sure it would be ok?" I whispered it and hoped he wouldn't hear it.

"What?" He scooted a little closer and made me lean away from him with nervousness.

"To stay in the palace… Are you sure it really would be ok?" He raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"Yes, we have plenty of extra rooms and food if you happen to get hungry. There is no safer place in the city." I looked up and met his blue eyes. I swallowed hard and nodded.

_I hope you know what you're doing, Papa._

Quickly, he stood up and took my bag from my shoulders before extending a hand to me. I took it and let him help me up before I pulled away quickly at the heat of the connection. We walked back to the road and back over the bridge through the large gates. The guards eyed me suspiciously while they nodded to Ulfric. I kept my eyes low and didn't meet anyone's questioning gaze as we walked through the streets to the palace. I looked around in wonder at the large stone building with the beautiful windows that cast light on the grey courtyard. He pushed a large wooden door open and walked silently into a large hall. There was a huge table sitting in the middle of the room full of every kind of food I knew. I stared with huge eyes as all the sights and smells crashed together in my head. He placed a hand on my shoulder before directing me past a huge ornate thrown in the middle of the room. We entered a room with another large table with a map and various colored flags, I figured it was a map of the war. There was more red than blue. We walked quietly up a set of stairs before stopping in front of a large wooden door. Opening the door carefully and motioned me inside. Immaculate was an understatement. I thought the inn's room was ornate, it paled in comparison to this. I looked around at the large four poster green bed with its exotic silk and fur covers. A large fireplace warmed my bones immediately and silver decorations glittered in the light. He placed my bag on a table to my right and walked over to sit on the bed. I stood dumbly in the middle of the room, taking it all in.

_This is a dream. There is no way I'm here right now. _

The Jarl cleared his throat and tapped the spot next to him. I blushed hard and stared at the floor as I walked over and sat a good distance away on the luxurious bed. The soft mattress held me as I sat.

"So, will this do you for tonight?"

"Gods, how couldn't it? This is the most beautiful room I've ever seen. There's no way I could ever repay you…" he waved his hand and laughed.

"No one uses it. I don't have many guests and it could use someone to break it in." I blushed and looked into the fire.

"Thank you, a million times, thank you." I whispered it and rubbed my arms to try and dispel the goose bumps. He nodded and stood before walking to the door. He placed one strong hand on it and turned to look at me.

"Oh, there are clean clothes in the dresser and food downstairs. Help yourself. I'm right down the hall if you should need anything."

I nodded and he shut the door quietly behind himself as he left. I exhaled deeply as I looked around the ornate room once again. Slowly, I let myself fall back onto the soft bed and was immediately wrapped in soft comfort. I rolled around in the sheets and giggled like a child.

_Thank you, Papa._

I stood up and kicked off my heavy boots with a clunk. Pulling the covers up around me, I wrapped myself up in the lavish cloth and slowly placed my head on the soft pillow. A wave of comfort washed over my tense sore body. My bones popped and cracked as I stretched under the covers and my stomach cried out angrily in the quiet of the room. I laid motionless in the room and listened to my stomach growl and moan. It cramped with hunger and I tried to ignore it and go to sleep. Finally, the pains won. I got up slowly and crept to my bag. Nothing. The food was gone. I slung the bag down and sat in the wooden chair.

_He said I could help myself… _no. I shook my head and walked back to the bed. I'm only a guest here, I can't just come and eat the food! I sat there for a long time and felt my stomach cramp and listened to it wail. My head throbbed and made sleep impossible.

_I have to get something to eat._ I crept to the door and pressed my ears to the wood. I didn't hear anything, not even the creak of the wood. I slowly pulled the door open and cursed under my breath at the squeal that came down the hall. Carefully, I tip-toed down the stone hallway and out through the war room. The grand hall was dark and quiet in the night. I listened hard for any sounds of movement or voices. The only thing I heard was the whisper and pop of a fire from the kitchen. I smelled the food wafting in the air and my stomach growled with excitement. I walked on my toes pretty much until I got to the doorway. I snuck a peek inside and didn't see anyone. Slowly, I walked inside and sat in front of the fire. There was enough food for seven people! I looked around once more and didn't see anyone. I strained my ears in the darkness to hear anything, I heard nothing. I carefully picked up an apple from the shelf closest to me and took a hesitant bite. It was delicious! A little groan came from my lips and made me giggle as I took another greedy bite. I finished it in record time and tossed the core into the fire. I debated grabbing another when the sound of footsteps sent me into a panic. I looked around and saw Ulfric standing in the doorway. He put his hands up and gave me a smile.

"Don't be alarmed, it's just me. I was feeling a little hungry myself, I knocked on your door to see if you wanted something but you didn't answer." He wore only a thin cloth shirt that flexed around his muscles and a pair of cloth pants. I felt myself staring at his impeccable shape while he walked over and sat beside me. He grabbed a piece of cheese and handed me another apple. I was hesitant to eat it with him there but all that vanished when the cold crisp juice flooded my mouth. We ate in silence by the fire for a few moments before he broke the silence.

"So, I just remembered I know little to nothing about you… do tell." He chuckled and leaned back on one arm by the fire, listening intently. I shuffled around nervously for a moment before giving a sigh and deciding someone needed to know. _If I tell him, it's no longer inside of me threatening to spill out and taint everyone with the hate I feel. _I drew a deep breath and began my story.

"Well… I lived in Cyrodill until I was almost a teenager. My father raised me alone, which was uncommon for a Nord man. He raised me like a son, really. He taught me how to fight and ride horses, that kind of thing. He was a soldier for a long time and made sure I would be safe without someone watching over me all the time. He never let me forget I was his little girl. He showered me with gifts and books, taking me hunting and fishing. We lived outside Bruma. One night… we were attacked by bandits. My father… he died. Trying to keep me safe. He didn't even let me fight…" I sucked in a raspy breath and felt the back of my throat quiver as sobs developed. I held them back as I tried to continue. "The bandits killed him and ended up finding me anyway… I was taken to Skyrim as a slave. I fed them, cleaned for them, and entertained them… for years I was shamed and beaten… one night, I ran. I caught them asleep, cut my bindings and ran for the door. I got away only to be caught in that ambush with you and your men… Those bandits stole so many years of my life." the tears flowed steadily on down my cheeks now. Sobs welled up in my throat and made my chest quiver. I wiped my eyes and looked into the fire.

_Finally, someone knows…_

After a moment, a strong hand reached out and found mine. It surprised me at first and I pulled away, he didn't let go. I looked at him through watery eyes and his face was completely serious, unlike I had seen it before.

"I know how it feels to be a slave. To be a prisoner." He dropped my hand and sat up, slowly he pulled his cloth shirt over his head and revealed his chest and back. Scars riddled his back like streams on a map, they flowed all over his shoulders and sides. "I lived to serve undeserving men once, now I fight them. You have to understand that all of that is your past. It hurts, but it's done now." he whispered and pulled the shirt back over his head. I sucked in another jagged breath and nodded.

"I lost the most important thing in my life that night. I'm in this strange land and I don't know what to do…" I trailed off and let my words drift into the fire. Ulfric scooted a little closer and leaned casually back on the wood floor again. He ran a hand through his messy hair and turned to look at me, much more softly than before.

"You need to find something new to be important to you. As for what you should do, only you can figure that out. I wouldn't mind seeing you around here for a while." He smiled and lightly pushed my shoulder, making me giggle a little. I blinked my hot eyes and tried to clear my head while steadying my breath.

"Thank you. It's amazing how you have kept everything together. So many people look to you for answers."

"If you really believe in something, those things aren't as hard as they seem. Though, war is a lonely game. So many die for you and sometimes you have to wonder if this is all worth what you lose. "

"Yea. I can't even fathom what you have to deal with…"

"I know people want freedom. I want to be the one who helps them gain it back. Though, there isn't any glory in this like some think. Brothers kill brothers, sons and daughters leave and never come back… it's not easy, but it will be worth it." I nodded, completely mesmerized by his devotion to his people. His scruffy face yawned and wiped at his eyes, suddenly looking so tired in the glow of the orange light. Though he was handsome, he looked like a man wrecked by war. All the men he had killed had taken a little part of him with them.

"You're tired. You should sleep." I whispered and moved a stray piece of hair from his face, blushing at the boldness of my move. He leaned his heavy head to fit his cheek into the palm of my hand before closing his eyes and sighing. Slowly, I stood up and whispered my goodnight before nearly running back to my room and climbing back into bed. I couldn't have stayed down there much longer, my hope of living some fantasy with a protector who was smart and handsome would have taken over and I would have done something incredibly stupid. I wound the sheets around me tight and snuggled into the comfortable bed with all the stone walls keeping me safe. Stone walls that man couldn't cut through and get you in the middle of the night. I let my thoughts drift to the strong man down the hall.

_What is one shy woman to a king? _

The thought depressed me a little. I wanted someone to keep me safe at night, someone to tell me everything was wonderful and miss me when I was gone…

_That's all it is, a dream. _

I curled up and made myself as small as I could. Tonight, just for tonight, I would pretend I was a queen with a strong husband with scars riddling his skin and blue eyes and golden hair…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Pinks, oranges, and blues danced on my eyelids as dawns first light poured lazily in through the window. I watched the colors swirl and mix into watercolor paintings before my closed eyes. My heart felt light in my chest, the first time it had felt so in many years. I stretched and pushed my hands in my eyes to prepare for the abundance of light in the room. Once my vision fully returned I stretched out once more with a groan before laying back on the soft pillow with a content sigh. To my surprise I was still in the grand bedroom, all the elegant touches of silver and carved wood were even more beautiful in the soft light of day.

_It was real. I'm really here. I slept in the palace last night… He's here…_

I felt the heat spreading over my cheeks as the memories flooded my mind from the night before. The feeling of his head in my hand, the smell of his skin filling the distance between us, the sound of his voice… I shook my head violently to dissipate the thoughts.

_Hospitality. That's all it was. _

I repeated it over and over in my head but it did little to cool my blushing cheeks. I threw the warm blankets back and felt a slight chill crawl over my skin as the cold air brushed over it. Quickly, I pulled my boots and other garments on before fixing my hair and pulling my pack on. With any luck I would be the first to rise and I could slip out without meeting Ulfric and having to exchange farewells. I tiptoed to the door and placed my ear on it, listening for any sounds of movement. Silence. I took a steadying breath before opening the door as softly as I could. I cursed under my breath when a loud creak screamed through the stone halls. I stood motionless for a long time, straining to hear anything that might indicate someone was coming. When I was confident I was alone, I snuck down the hall. The familiar stone guided me down the steps and to the door of the war room. The sound of muffled speaking startled me and I pushed my back to the wall. I could make out the deep voice of a king on the other side and someone else, much older with a raspier voice. They spoke quickly and occasionally rose their voices at each other. I turned to look back at the hall, did I try and find another way out?

_No. there will be hundreds of doors and halls in this palace, especially with its age. Not to mention, there's the chance of running into someone not as friendly as Ulfric and getting thrown into the dungeon. I can't be caged again…_

I huffed, annoyed. The voices got louder and peaked my curiosity as to what they could be talking about so adamantly. I quietly placed my ear to the door and listened hard.

"… I know that, Galmar! We can't just force people to join our cause, so what would you have me do? I have tried to spread the importance of this cause to the far reaches of Skyrim. People are afraid. They do not want to send their sons or daughters to die, I can respect that."

"So can I, my Jarl. All I am saying is that our numbers are not as plentiful as the Legion and I'm afraid it will be our undoing."

"I know… I know. I will try and find more able bodied recruits in the coming days." I could hear the tired sigh through the wood.

_Epiales. Fight, it is what you know. Fight and bring glory to your homeland._

My father's voice rang in my ears and felt like it bounced off the cold stone walls. I felt my chest heating up as I thought of him watching down from Sovngarde.

_I can't just fight, papa. You know how I get carried away… I kill everything in my path…_

_Epiales. You are not a monster. You are a warrior. You must fight for those who cannot fight themselves or suffer a life of restless torment. Earn your place in Sovngarde, earn your place with me…_

His voice lingered in my ears for only a moment longer. Hot tears threatened to stream down my cheeks and I rubbed them away.

_No more tears. For you, papa._

I pushed myself from the wall and stood straight, I held my head higher than I had any time before this. I was filled with a new sense of purpose that had filled me completely like a breath of fresh life. He had lead me here for a purpose and I intended to meet his wishes, or die trying. I took one more deep breath before pushing the great door open. A short but incredibly stocky man wearing a similar bear skin jacket to Ulfric stood eyeing me suspiciously through cold grey eyes. Ulfric stood leaning over the table and stopped studying the map once I walked in, he gave me a warm smile and motioned me in.

"Ah, you're awake. Epiales, this is Galmar. He is my right hand through this war. Galmar, Epiales. She is a friend." The man relaxed only ever so slightly, I felt myself rooted in my place at the door in their presence. My confidence waned ever so slightly. I gave a nod to both of them before Ulfric motioned me to join them once again. I took a place at the end of the table, Galmar looked me over once and nodded again in quiet thought.

"So, you fight?" His rusty voice was dry and commanding. I nodded cautiously and stole a glance to Ulfric who raised his brows. I felt the words coming a little easier as my father's words came back to my mind.

"I do, I'm no stranger to following a set of commands… I do as I'm told and I don't stop until the task is complete." I stared straight back at Galmar, refusing him the privilege of breaking my defenses and reading my real emotions. He only steadily stared back.

"Well, we could use someone like that. Have you killed before?" I flinched a little when the memories of the scarlet snow and the stares from the villagers raced through my mind. Ulfric cleared his throat a little and shot a disapproving look to Galmar, he ignored it.

"Yes… I have killed…" I elected to not say any more about it. Galmar nodded and finally moved his stone cold eyes back to Ulfric.

"What do you think, my Jarl? Is she worthy?" Ulfric looked me over with a forlorn look and slowly turned back to Galmar, nodding weakly.

"Yes, Galmar. She knows her way around a weapon. She was in Helgan with me." Galmar raised his bushy eyebrows and turned back to me.

"I'd say you might have a chance of making it out of this alive. Well, you'll need to take the oath of a Stormcloak before you can get anything done. Are you really sure this is what you want? You will most likely die in the first months. That is a cold reality you must face." A warmth spread from my chest to my stomach as I thought of bringing glory to my father and sitting the table beside him in Sovngarde.

"Sovngarde awaits those who fight and die with honor." His eyes swelled with pride and he swung a large meaty fist to his chest, banging it against the metal plate over his heart. I felt a small smile playing at my lips as I stood in the war room with these great men and felt what it was like to be welcomed. Truly welcomed, truly wanted. I looked to Ulfric whose eyes showed the same acceptance and pride as Galmar.

"Let's take that oath now and get you in some armor." Galmar moved from the tableside and stood almost in the doorway before motioning for me to come over to him. He straightened his back and adapted a very solemn expression. I stood before him, filled to the brim with new found purpose.

"I do swear my blood and honor to the service of Ulfric Stormcloak...Jarl of Windhelm and true High King of Skyrim. As Talos is my witness, may this oath bind me to death and beyond...even to my lord as to my fellow brothers and sisters in arms. All hail the Stormcloaks, the true sons and daughters of Skyrim!"

Galmar bellowed the oath so it rang off the stone walls and electrified the small space. I repeated it back with matched courage and meaning. With every line that left my lips I felt my hands tingle and my heart beat harder in my chest. When it was done I felt a strong hand on my shoulder as Ulfric squeezed it reassuringly with an approving smile spread over his bearded face. I smiled back as Galmar walked out the doorway and out of sight. Ulfric ushered me over to a small table with a spread of mead, fruits and cheeses sat waiting. I took a seat and he took the one opposite of me. My stomach rumbled as the smells entered my nose, I hadn't even thought about how hungry I was. l looked to him questioningly and he waved a hand to help myself. I tried to eat slowly but found myself shoving one thing after another in my mouth with every taste that exploded on my tongue. He watched humorously in silence for a long time before speaking.

"Why?" his blue eyes had a strange fog to them when I looked up. The once happy expression had fallen into something much darker.

"Why what?" I responded between bites.

"Why will you fight for me? Why did you come in and take an oath to kill men in my name. You're only vaguely familiar with this war and you're only vaguely familiar with me… why will you fight for me?" His jaw was set and rigid as his blue eyes stared into mine for an answer. I was nervous, only for a moment, before I gathered up my nerve and answered.

"Like I told you before, I was a slave. I was never granted the opportunity to flourish and learn as I had dreamed of doing… all I know how to do is kill and take orders. I need a purpose… I need something to wake up for or I am afraid one day I won't have the ability to wake up at all. Your cause is a noble one, I don't have to know everything about it because I see it in the streets and in the hearts of the men who fight for you. You and your men have saved my life more than once, I will pay both of you back by giving my life." He steadily stared for the longest time, unmoving. I squirmed a little under his intense gaze and hoping he would say something to take away this uncomfortable tension. Thankfully, the thumping of heavy steps came into the room as Galmar came in holding a familiar blue cuirasses, boots and an axe.

"Here, see if this fits. We can't have you fighting the Imperials in a sack cloth shirt and boots." He croaked out a dry laugh and threw the armor into my lap. I stole a quick glance to Ulfric before almost leaping from the chair and heading for the door to the hall.

"Where in Oblivion are you going?" Galmar called out as I opened the door.

"I'm going to put this on, like you said?"

"Ah, sorry. I'm use to commanding a fleet of men. Forgive me." I blushed lightly and took the steps two at a time, keeping my head low until back in the room. Once in the embrace of the quiet, I dropped my things and laid the armor out onto the bed. The leather was a high quality and was smooth to the touch, I ran my hand over the cuirasses to bring it into reality.

"A soldier." I whispered it into the quiet and let the words linger on my lips, tasting them. I pulled my old clothes off and slowly put on my new armor. Indeed, everything fit perfectly. I walked over to the frosted window and caught a glimpse of my reflection. Blue and brown armor held me tight and shined in the light of the morning. I turned in it again and again, taking my look in from every angle I could. I held the axe in my hand and felt the weight, it felt… right. I swung it and the sharp whistle put a smile on my face as visions of Helgan and the fort dashed through my mind with a new sense of reality. I was ready; no. Excited.

"I'm ready to do what I do best, papa." I sheathed the axe onto my belt and took one more glance at myself in the glass. A smile spread over my face as I walked out of the room and back down the hall to the men. I came to the door and the sounds of heated debate had already filled the room again. I pushed the door open lightly and tried to make my entrance as least obvious as possible. Ulfric and Galmar were hunkered over the table and hushed once Galmar caught sight of me. Raising himself from the table he looked me over once and gave an approving nod. Ulfric rose and turned, his eyes looked me over more than Galmar's and made me self-conscious.

"Now you look like a soldier." He whispered with what I thought sounded like sadness leaking into his voice. I blushed and walked to a chair in the corner of the room to allow the men to talk again.

"As I was saying before, tell me again why we're wasting time and dwindling resources chasing a legend. We don't even know it exists!"

"The Jarls are upset. They don't all support you."

"Damn the Jarls."

"They demand the Moot."

"And damn the Moot! We should risk letting those milkdrinkers put Torygg's woman on the throne? She'll hand Skyrim over to the elves on a silver plate." Ulfrics deep voice thundered off the stone walls, full of annoyance.

"All the more reason then. The crown would legitimize your claim."

"A crown doesn't make a king."

"No, but this one..."

"If it even exists." Ulfric cut in with increasing anger flooding his voice.

"It exists. And it'll be the symbol of the righteousness of our cause. Think about it. The Jagged Crown! It heralds back to a time before jarls and moots. Back to the time when a king was a king because his enemies fell before him, and his people rose because they loved him. Skyrim needs that king. You will be that king, Ulfric. You must be."

"… You're certain you've found it?" Ulfric gave in with a sigh.

"When have I ever been false with you?"

"Fine. I'll send the Unblooded here with you. Fancy a crawl through a moldering dungeon to see if you can't stir up Galmar's Jagged Crown?" He turned and sent me a wink before walking to the door.

"It'll be there. You'll see." Galmar said with asserted seriousness and a rock steady look on his weathered face. He rubbed his face and let out an annoyed sigh before turning to me with cold tired eyes.

"Ready to test your metal?"

"Yes." I whispered it with as much certainty as I could muster into my voice. A nervous knot wound itself into my stomach as he walked to a corner table and picked up an enormous claymore. Fashioning it to his back he motioned for me to follow him as he walked into the main hall. Galmar threw one gracious wave to Ulfric at his throne before walking to the door with a shocking pace for his size. I bowed quickly to catch up before Galmar got too far away.

"Be careful!" Ulfric shouted as I spun to wave once more before sprinting out the door to catch up with Galmar. His astonishingly fast pace and silent purposeful walk held up all the way to the gate as we walked across the bridge and out into the forest beyond. As the city walls got farther and farther away, the realization of the whole situation really sunk in. I felt my heart quicken a bit and the tips of my fingers grow cold with nervous fear.

_This is real. War. Real killing… _

I silently mulled it over in my mind. The thought of spilling that much blood…

"Having second thoughts? Don't worry, its common." The sudden break in the silence made me jump and pull a little rusty chuckle from Galmar.

"No… it isn't second thoughts, per say..." I trailed off, not wanting to say what was really weighing on my mind. He weighed one cold eye on me for a bit, a chill slithered down my spine and kept me searching for anything to look at but him.

"You know, Ulfric doesn't typically deal with strangers. Especially in this time of war. I heard you spent the night in the palace. You can't blame a man for wanting some answers about that." The hard tone in his voice made me shrink away from him a little. The whole forest seemed to quiet around us, carefully wanting to hear the answer as much as he did. The tension electrified the air around us until it was almost unbearable.

"Well… we met by the river near the bridge. We talked one night when I first came to the city, from Helgan… I stayed at the inn but I didn't have enough gold to stay again. He found me as I was trying to leave the city and invited me to the palace… something just… told me to go with him." The strangeness of the whole situation was only intensified as I explained it. Galmar huffed a little and put his hard eyes on me again.

"Could it have been the fact he is a_ Jarl_ and he was inviting you into a_ palace_ that told you to go. Listen, I am always welcoming of new blood into our ranks but I don't want to trust you only to find out it was a mistake. We can't afford mistakes. If you have ulterior motives to joining our ranks than leave now, because if I find them out or it gets one of my men hurt, I will kill you myself. Do I make myself clear?" he stopped walking and turned the full weight of his piercing grey eyes onto me. I tried to keep my gaze steady in response to convey some kind of courage and sincerity, putting all my power into his pupils. My knees begged to buckle and I wanted to shrink down and shuffle into my dark corner to hide like I always had, but not this time.

"You have no reason to trust me. I honestly don't understand why Ulfric did. I joined your ranks to put a purpose into my life, something to bring honor to my family and that is all. My words will only convey so much, my actions will speak volumes." I fought the quivering in my stomach and forced my eyes to stay level with his. He stared for a few more agonizing moments before nodding and setting back on his military pace through the forest. I sighed, heavily drained and more nervous than ever. I let the cold air whip around me for a moment before setting off behind him again.

The trip's tension hadn't eased any but it had been a relatively short distance; I was thankful. The silence had held up all the way until blue clad soldiers came into view. Men and women of an intimidating stature stood in a snowy opening in the trees and immediately came to attention as we entered. A tall, Elven woman pushed herself through to the front of the little group with a frightened look on her face.

"What is it?" Galmar rumbled, obviously annoyed.

"There are Imperials here, sir. They're just ahead." A furious growl escaped Galmar's lips as he scowled out over the snow. The elven woman backed away, hating to be the bearer of bad news, and turned to join the crowd of uneasy soldiers. Galmar walked into the group and grabbed a stocky Nord man by the shoulders and walked away talking. My nose burned in the cold wind as I watched all the battle hardened men and women sharpening blades and filling quivers of arrows around me. Each face was weathered and cold as the landscape they inhabited, I scanned each one admiring scars and their cold eyes when a flash of gold caught my attention. I looked to my left and the wind rushed out of my lips. Long braided gold hair danced under the helmet and crystal blue eyes met mine before I could turn away and take cover. His eyes grew wide and I turned quickly, hoping he wouldn't come to me and check if what he was seeing was real. I was sure hoping it wasn't.

_Please, don't. _

The hurried crunching of snow only served to tie a knot in my stomach. There was no point in trying to avoid it. Heavy hands clamped down onto my shoulders and whirled me around with immense force. I was looking into Ralofs wide blue eyes as he looked me over with mixed emotions.

"It is you." He whispered it with relief in the space between us. I lowered my eyes to the ground, guilt welling up inside of me. Before I could do anything, strong arms wound around my shoulders and pulled me into a strong embrace. Crushed to his chest, my cheeks ignited and I gasped a little at the sudden contact. Standing in the snow and wind, Ralof held me tight for a few moments before loosening his arms and stepping mere inches away.

"Forgive me. I thought you had been dragged off in the night or taken away in the early morning. So many of my friends have been… I thought you were dead." Relief and sadness melted into his deep voice and only served to deepen my guilt. He let out a heavy sigh as I looked to the ground again to keep from having to answer his concerned eyes.

"I should be the one apologizing. I should have left a note…"

"Where did you go? You left and didn't tell anyone where you were going. I know it isn't my place to watch over you but I didn't know if you had been killed or dragged away by gods knows what. I tortured myself with thinking of how I should have kept a closer eye on you since you were wounded and unfamiliar with the land, should have watched over you and kept you safe…" He let out another deep huff of warm breath that swirled and disappeared in the air, I longed to be able to do the same.

"I am sorry. Really. I should have left something telling you I was ok at the least I just didn-"I was cut short when a whistle came from the front of the small group. Galmar stood motioning us to come in from further up the snowy hill. Ralof turned back to me and let out an annoyed grunt.

"We need to talk. Please. Find me when we are done here." his longing eyes stayed locked onto mine until I nodded. He squeezed my shoulder once more before letting his arms fall to his sides. I took full advantage of this opportunity and walked hastily to the front to listen to what Galmar had to say. The group was buzzing with nervous whispers as he waited patiently for everyone to file in around him.

"Listen up! Those imperials aren't here by coincidence. Their spies must have found out we know about the crown, and they don't want us to have it. But they won't stand in our way! I know some of you are ex-legion and may know some men on the other side. But remember this. They are the enemy now and they will not hesitate to kill you. Keep your wits about you and watch your shield brothers back. Ulfric Stormcloak is counting on us to bring him that crown, and that's exactly what we're going to do." My heart fluttered in my throat at the reality of the situation. Galmar unsheathed the huge claymore that took both hands from his back and eyed me harshly. I pulled my axe out and let the weight comfort me as he took off toward the ruins.

"Follow me. Quickly and quietly now. I want their guts on the ground before they even know we're here." Galmar called to the group as his pace quickened to a run. I followed behind and steadied my racing heart.

_Here we go._

The ruins came into view in the distance, our silent steps brought us close enough to see the smoke from imperial fires. One more deep breath slithered through my lips as nervous excitement bubbled in the pit of my stomach. My pace quickened and I soon overtook Galmar, running past large stone walls I found the entrance and my target. Imperial men littered the entrance, waiting. A smile played at my lips as the first brave soul rushed me head on. One clean flick of the wrist left his throat in tatters as he tumbled over my shoulder, raining blood through the air in a scarlet shower. Another rushed from the left, my brain was nearly disconnected as I seized ahold of his arm and swung it behind his back, the sickly sweet snap of the bone only fed into my bloodlust as I dug the axe into the back of his head and looking onto the next one. The whistle of an arrow cutting through the air ringed in my ear and was easy to detect through the screams. My hand snapped out and caught it by the middle before it came into contact with my neck. A short Imperial looked at me with wide frightened eyes, he turned to run but I couldn't let that happen. Three long strides put me at the edge of the top step of the entrance stairs, I flung myself off the top and landed knees first into his pudgy body, arrow meeting its mark and sliding through his armor like a dagger through butter. We fell and I pulled myself up from his lifeless body, before I could turn completely an immense weight crashed into my shoulder and toppled me over. My axe slid from my hand as I quickly pulled myself to my feet, full of unquenchable rage. I snapped my eyes up to a large Imperial with a stupid smirk on his face.

"Oops, lost your axe? My poor girl." His taunting laugh and ignorance rang through the snow.

"That's ok. I don't need it." I let a terrifyingly big smile spread across my lips that wiped his off his face. I pushed myself off of the wall behind me and ran straight for him. Shield raised in a useless effort to block me, I threw myself through the air and slammed my feet into the metal with a thundering crash. I watched the shock cross his face as we sailed through the air before I drew my open hand back, one thrust putting my fingers in his warm throat, the last pull bringing the contents of his throat flying behind me. We fell to the ground and he sputtered and coughed his last breaths as warm blood droplets sprayed onto my face. I staid kneeling on his sputtering body for a few moments to catch my breath when I noticed the deafening silence of the air around me. Slowly, I brought my head up and looked around. All the Imperial soldiers laid out on the snowy ground, blood stained the grey stone everywhere. I looked around and saw the group of soldiers standing near the door to the ruins. Galmar and everyone else stood looking down on me. Every pair of eyes showed shock, disgust, and confusion. I began to realize the brutality of my actions and lowered my head again. I suddenly felt very alone. Very vulnerable. I scanned the crowd once more and found Ralofs big blue eyes, just like the others his eyes were mixed with startled disgust and confusion. I silently begged him to come over and pick me up, make the others look away from me like he had in the village. He just looked down on me. Galmar, surprisingly stunned and quiet, stared for only a moment longer before clearing his throat and looking around to the men and women.

"Well than… um... Let's get going." He spoke the words quietly and less raspy than he ever had before. There was a slight pause as everyone followed behind him to the door of the ruins. I waited for the group to pass before starting to pull myself off my knees. A strong hand grabbed me under my elbow and pulled me up. Ralof handed me the ax and waited as I wiped the fresh blood off my face. I didn't look up to gage his reaction, couldn't for the possibility of seeing that disgust there once again. I sheathed the ax and walked off toward the group with my head low. He merely followed behind silently and I was thankful for that. I stayed a ways behind everyone else as we stepped through the intricate black stone door. Even with the shame I felt in my stomach, the dimly lit room took my breath away when I entered. The Nords from ages past carved the ornate chamber with expressive carvings, it was amazing it had lasted as long as it had. I found myself only momentarily distracted when I heard voices ahead. Galmar looked over the group, met my eyes and waved me over. I sucked in a nervous breath and made my way to the front. The others parted hastily and eyed me suspiciously as I passed. Once I was at his side he motioned to the group of imperial men standing ready near the double staircases. I looked from them to Galmar as he whispered in my ear.

"Do what you do best." His rusty voice was assuring. I hesitated only a moment.

I stepped inside without a care to how silent I was. I wanted them to see me. I unsheathed the axe from my hip as all the men standing in the large room jumped to attention. A wave of silent confusion washed over them as they waited for more men to come bolting into the room. I simply smiled at their pathetic faces. Like a cloud covering the sun, all my thoughts were covered except what needed to be done. The whistle of a sword cutting through the air rang in my left ear. I twisted hard when the noise was loudest and sparks skidded the ground as our metal crashed with a thundering force that sent me skidding a few inches back. Sweat tickled my eyes as I charged forward while he tried to lift the heavy weapon again, my axe found its mark across his throat as he raised the blade for another enormous blow. I didn't watch the humongous sword fall to the ground but the booming crash covered the metallic clang as another imperial threw blow after blow with his small sword. His agile movements met mine as we danced around the room. I heard the steps of another man closing in as I blocked the flurry of slashes being thrown at me from the man in front of me.

_Three… Two… One._

I twisted my body around and dropped to my knees when I heard the running man take his final three steps before lunging at me. The piercing sound of his sword cutting through his brother's armor and the cries from both of them echoed through the round room and sent chills running over my skin. He stood watching the man before him fall and sputter into a pool of blood onto the floor. He made no attempts to move as I lifted the man's sword and pushed it through his back. I turned to dispatch anyone else who may have been coming when I heard the heavy thump of a bowstring. I hadn't moved fast enough and I felt the burning biting pain in my calf muscle as the arrow pierced my skin. A small howl of surprise and pain escaped my lips as I whirled around and found the smug archer smiling and pulling another arrow out. I bit my lip against the ripping pain in my leg and sprinted toward him. Another heavy arrow flew from his bow and dug itself deep into my shoulder. The impact made me cry out again and reach for the wood protruding from my shoulder. I didn't stop. His eyes grew wide as I picked up my pace and threw myself into his chest. We crashed to the floor as I pinned him beneath my knees, enjoying the terrified look on his leathery face. I moved his long hair from his face as I leaned down to whisper into his ear.

"You missed." Biting down hard on my lip, I grasped the wood in my hand and pulled harshly. Pain ripped through my upper body as the arrow finally gave and pulled out with a sickening pop. I sighed with relief as I looked down at the archer who looked like he could faint at any moment. Another smile spread across my lips as I slowly pushed the arrow into the shapely hollow of his neck. I reached around my leg and bit down again, slowly pulling the other arrow out of my calf. The skin made a horrible ripping sound when it finally came loose from my leg. Once the other arrow was firmly planted into his chest I gave a heavy sigh of relief and hobbled to my feet. The other soldiers had already started pouring in when I hoisted myself up and started toward the stairs. Galmar quickly walked to me and planted a heavy pat on my shoulder, sending a lighting strike of pain down my side, and nearly knocking me to my feet. Seeing the blood from the wound he quickly apologized and pulled a potion from his bag. Once the tingling liquid was flowing into the wounds I didn't even feel them.

"I wanted to see how well you could follow commands. None of these other milk drinkers would have dared charged in here alone. You really are a warrior. Don't let that go to your head, you aren't invincible, but you are a damn good soldier. Hang back until I need you." He said with a slight smile on his rough face before giving me another pat and walking away to give commands to two soldiers to keep watch.

Once the potion had closed the wounds I walked to catch up with the back of the group. The burial tombs were ornate as we marched on. Imperials were scattered throughout various rooms the further we pressed on, but were quickly dispatched. We entered a dimly lit room with amazingly intricate carvings riddling the walls. It was beautiful. A man ahead of me let out a low whistle and I nodded in absent agreement.

"Ah! The hall of stories. We must be getting close now." Galmar mumbled to himself as I gasped at an amazing wall in the front of the room. I had never seen anything like it! The dark stone was carved in traditional Nordic fashion and there were four golden circular placed with different animal carvings on them. The biggest circle appeared to be some sort of print from an animal I didn't know. As I stood studying the door, Galmar walked over to me and handed me a heavy metal figure in the shape of a foot of some sort.

"See what you can figure out. We need this door open." I nodded and flipped the cool metal over in my hands. It didn't take long to notice that the markings matched up on the bottom to the door. I pushed in the animals and let out a quiet breath of amazement as the rings moved and the marking matched up. When all the markings matched I looked at the claw and back to the door. Little slots were carved that looked just like the nails of the claw. With a nervous breath I pushed the claw into the slots and twisted hard. The door groaned and screeched in the echoing room as the rings spun and the old door began dropping into the floor. I smiled as cheers and pats from the other soldiers came from behind me. We pushed on again and I fell towards the back per usual. We ran into other creatures as we pressed on through the crypt.

We had just entered a rounded room when there was a sound that mimicked a small explosion all around us. From the standing tombs all around us these grotesque monsters sprang from the walls and charged at us. They appeared to be human but there leathery dry skin was stretched over their bones and their dead eyes saw everything though they never moved. My stomach knotted as they ran at us with hollow moans and wet gargles. Dust and skin clouded the air as out weapons dispatched them rather quickly. Though they were not immensely storing, their strength was in numbers. We stood panting for a moment as we looked down to the creatures riddling the floor. Galmar called them Draugher. Undead Nords cursed to guard these crypts in death. Though they were disgusting, I felt a pan of sadness for them.

_Cursed for all eternity…_

I mulled over what that would be like as our little party pressed forward. More Draugher spilled from tombs but were left in a heap of skin and bones. I was walking next to Galmar when we entered the central chamber to see a skeleton sitting on a large thrown in the center of the room. A crown sat atop his head and my heart fluttered to see that Galmar had indeed been right. I quickly walked over to the corpse as Galmar called to me.

"Watch yourself! There's bound to be some sort of trap." I nodded before turning back and pulling the crown off of the dried head of the skeleton. A low hiss floated to my ears as I watched the skeleton's head rise and look into my eyes with hollow sockets. Fear gripped me for a moment and I didn't have time to react before the skeleton jumped to life and slung a bony arm into my stomach with immense weight, sending me sliding across the floor and into a wall. I held the crown hard as I tried to focus my blurry vision. I could hear the clatter and shouts of fighting as I struggled to see what was going on around me. Through the blur, a hand reached out and pulled me to my feet and held me steady. I squeezed my eyes shut hard and opened them again to see the dizziness focus and I made out Ralofs tanned face in the dim light.

"Are you ok?" he shouted and pulled me away as men ran past us.

"Yea, thank you. Let's go!" I shouted back and pushed the crown into my bag. We ran to the sound of the clatter when I saw Galmar raise his enormous axe and sent a crushing blow into the skeleton. It let out an enraged hiss before crumbling to the floor. One more swing sent its head rolling to my feet. I kicked the dusty bones away as I met Galmar's triumphant gaze.

"Let's go home." He said with a proud smile.


End file.
